henry's treehouse

Ladies & Gentlemen of the Treehouse

2008-12-16T06:35:00.001-05:00

I am moving. Sort of.

I recently accepted the position of Editor for Blissfully Domestic's Homeschool Bliss channel. Because much of the content is related to that which I published in Henry's Treehouse, I will no longer be posting to this blog.

You might be thinking, "What does homeschooling have to do with Henry's Treehouse?" Quite frankly, a lot. I strongly believe that no matter the formal venue for education, children are ultimately educated in the home. And though the Homeschool Bliss channel does focus on homeschooling as a formal educational venue, the channel offers a TON of resources related to education in general.

Finally, I am in the process of redesigning my other blogs. My goal is to create one (or maybe two) seamless blog(s), and I am currently working with a web designer on this project. I promise to post the site as soon as we are completed, although don't expect anything until after the first of the new year.

Thank you all for your support and readership. Please visit me at Blissfully Domestic, and if you are interested in contributing to the Homeschool Bliss channel, let me know!

While under construction...

2008-12-02T13:57:00.002-05:00

Please visit me here! or here! or here! Thanks again.

Thank you.

2008-11-27T07:00:00.003-05:00

Thank you, friends, for reading Henry's Treehouse.

Over the last four months, we have blogged together about issues that affect our lives as parents, educators, and child advocates. I have learned so much from your input and ideas, and I am very grateful for the opportunity to share my thoughts, ideas, and opinions with all of you.

As I look ahead, I have decided to combine a couple of my blogs, and in turn, I will be shutting the door to this chapter of Henry's Treehouse. Within the next month, I plan to launch a new blog design and theme, thus opening a new chapter to Henry's Treehouse.

Please stay tuned for more information.

In the meantime, thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

College email is so last year?

2008-11-26T07:05:00.002-05:00

A friend sent me this article about a prestigious college's decision to forgo new email accounts.

What do you think?

"Officials at Boston College have made what may be a momentous decision: they've stopped doling out new email accounts to incoming students. The officials realized that the students already had established digital identities by the time they entered college, so the new email addresses were just not being utilized. The college will offer forwarding services instead. Starting next year, freshman enrolled at Boston College won't be given an actual email account complete with login and inbox, just an email address."

So, is this the start of a new trend? I think so. There are a few concerns, but in time, I think this is the way colleges and universities will go. It does make me think about a young man who I knew through a previous job. He had an email address that consisted of a gang name. Let's hope that students like him find a more appropriate email address to use when they start their college career!

StudentEdge

2008-11-25T07:05:00.005-05:00

Do you have a high schooler who is college bound? If so, ask your child's School Counselor for the school's Peterson's StudentEdge access code.

If your child's school does not have one, encourage them to get one - access codes are FREE for school administrators!

Do not pay for access! Every school should be able to acquire an access code that allows administrators and students access to this resourceful website.

What is StudentEdge? StudentEdge is an online resource that gives students the opportunity to engage in the college planning process with tools and timely advice such as entrance exam preparation, financial aid information, practice standardized tests, and many other helpful tools. The site is customized to a student's grade level so there are tons of resources depending on whether your child is a freshman, sophomore, junior, or senior.

Remember, there is no reason to pay for access to this site. Be in touch with your child's School Counselor today for more information about this valuable resource.

Ohio abortions on the decline

2008-11-24T07:00:00.002-05:00

I read the headline, Ohio abortions decline, and I thought, "great news."

But then I read the article.

According to the article published in The Columbus Dispatch, "In 2007, 30,859 pregnancies were terminated, down more than 6 percent from the previous year and the lowest number since the state began keeping statistics in 1976. A report by the Ohio Department of Health shows abortions have been declining since 2000, when 38,140 were performed."

Wait, did I read that right? Over 30,000? Just in the state of Ohio? Holy smokes! That is a crazy-high number!

Here are some of the facts:

About 1 in 8 abortions were performed on women younger than 20.
Women with at least one child accounted for 60 percent of abortions.
Eighty-two percent of the abortions were performed on unmarried women.
Women between the ages of 20 and 24 accounted for a third of abortions, more than any other age group.
Eighty-six percent of abortions were performed before the 12th week of pregnancy.
Ohio continues to have a lower rate of abortions than the national average.
Although Ohio statistics are not available, national figures show that unintended pregnancies are increasing among lower-income women while decreasing among higher-income women.
Nationally, those with a high-school diploma or less underwent nearly two-thirds of the procedures.

So what do you make of all this? I think it is wonderful that abortions are on the decline, but to know that my state still performs over 30,000 abortions every year? Well, we have a LONG way to go.

I want this book.

2008-11-21T07:15:00.001-05:00

I must tell you about a book that I recently discovered (and no, it's not a new book, I'm just behind the times).

Poetry Speaks to Children is a collection of nearly 100 poems from amazing poets such as Emily Dickinson, J.R.R. Tolkien, and Langston Hughes. The featured poems are those that speak to children through rhyme, rhythm, fun, and sometimes, mischief. Additionally, the book comes with a CD featuring many of the authors reading their work - how cool!

I love this book because I think poetry can be intimidating. But if we expose our children at an early age to the work of fabulous authors (not simply nursery rhymes, although those are good, too), then when our children mature, they will be more likely to turn to those sometimes intimidating authors.

In addition to the delicious poetry, the book is beautifully illustrated making it fun for the littlest children to read.

And check out this review on NPR (and listen to Roald Dahl read The Dentist and the Crocodile!).

I love a book that both children and adults can enjoy!

Let your kids 'give' this holiday season.

2008-11-20T07:45:00.002-05:00

One thing that I hope to instill in my son (and any future children) is the desire to give back to the community. Certainly I cannot force this on him, but there are ways to nudge him in the direction of philanthropy.

One option is YouthGive. YouthGive, where young people are building a world of good, allows parents to create a Giving Account for their children. The children are then able to manage their own virtual foundations. Parents simply deposit money via PayPal, and then their child can choose from a variety of nonprofits and decide how much to donate. There is no minimum, and parents monitor the child's donations along the way.

According to the website:
YouthGive helps to grow the next generation of givers and global citizens, believing that everyone can be a philanthropist.
YouthGive is giving by the many, for all ages, with local and global impact.
Help us create a new story for youth and families, one that empowers us all as caretakers of our communities and the world.

Consider engaging your child(ren) in the giving spirit this holiday season, and beyond!

A teen on teens

2008-11-19T07:45:00.004-05:00

Ever wonder what your teenage daughter is thinking? What is going through her head as she storms out of the room stomping wildly up the stairs and slamming every door behind her?

Well now you can take a peak into the madness behind her irrational behavior (or is it?) at On Teens Today.

On Teens Today is a blog created by Vanessa Van Petten, a young woman well beyond her seventeen years. Vanessa and seven other teens discuss their perspectives and opinions on issues such as sex, academics, and relationships.

I found this note from Vanessa on the website:

Welcome Brave Parents

HOORAY! Finally, parenting advice from the kid’s perspective! It’s usually impossible to get more than one-word-answers from us, but here I hope that I, along with my 8 teen writers (age 13-17) can be honest about real issues that teens and pre-teens are dealing with, so parents can actually understand us (well at least a small part of our world)…and we can finally develop better relationships.
As much as I LOVE my freedom, I know that adolescents are often two steps ahead of parental controls and because of this, watched many of my friends make really, really bad decisions. So, we have decided to break open the door to our SECRET, terribly complex world and let you in. Ok, I am exaggerating just a tad, but I do truly believe that *if we help each other stay informed, we can stay safe, supported and become happier adults.*

So next time you are at your wits end, log on. Who knows, maybe someone from Vanessa's posse can clue you into your daughter's apparent explosion over a seemingly innocent, "no, honey, you cannot stay over at Michael's house on Prom night."

Stop the stigma - is controversial?

2008-11-18T07:45:00.000-05:00

Yesterday's post was a first for me, and I'm excited about it!

I have been blogging since February, but it was not until yesterday that I received my first negative comment following one of my posts.

I have always asked people to be honest and express their opinions - that's the fun of the blogosphere. But until yesterday, I never experienced a negative response to one of my posts.

After first reading the comment, I felt my blood pressure rise and my heart begin to race. But I quickly realized that it was so cool! Someone actually read something that I had to say (although in this case it was a post of a letter from a third party), and my words caused them to actually "feel" something. I love it!

Unfortunately, the individual who commented did not leave their name or a link to their website. It's not a big deal, I simply find it interesting. I'm constantly dishin' out my two cents but I think there is something to be said about someone who posts an anonymous comment. Hmmm.

Oh, and how interesting that I have never received any negativity from my political posts (I post a lot of political mumbo jumbo on alidotes) or controversial posts regarding abortion, etc., but it was the post about de-stigmatizing self-mutilation that struck a chord with someone. Not sure what to make of that, but it's interesting.

So, ladies and gentlemen, I received my first negative post, and I can officially say that I am part of this crazy little world called the blogosphere! Thanks for joining me on the journey.

Stop the stigma.

2008-11-17T07:45:00.004-05:00

Please read this request.

As a parent, I am often concerned when I see blatant evidence of our broken society: graphic graffiti on a sidewalk, nudity on television, violence in video games. And as a mental health professional, I am passionate about breaking stigma, such as helping people to understand that to see a therapist does not imply that something is "wrong" with a person.

I recently received the following request from a colleague. This request spoke directly to my heart as a mom and mental health professional. I contacted the highlighted party immediately because I am not only a concerned citizen, but I am also a concerned mom, educator, and child advocate. Please consider sending a message to this company.

This came from NAMI StigmaBusters:

The Burton Snowboard Company in Vermont, an international leader in the sport industry, recently unveiled its “Primo” line of snowboards, featuring graphic images of self-mutilation. NAMI is protesting the company’s insensitivity to public health concerns.

For people living with mental illnesses, self-injury unfortunately sometimes is a means of coping with severe emotional stress. Physical injury becomes a surrogate for emotional pain. The Burton images reinforce impulses toward such violence and essentially trivializes them.

Spectrum Youth & Family Services in Vermont , which provides housing and services to homeless, foster and at-risk youth, has protested the toxic snowboards by suspending its participation in Burton’s “Chill” program— which provides free snowboarding lessons to disadvantaged youth in cities around the country. Chill’s mission? “To build self-esteem.”

In a newspaper article , Spectrum’s executive director objected also to a Burton snowboard line that features Playboy models, which is being protested by other groups: “I think I have the right to get on a [chairlift] this winter with my 5-year-old and not have him subjected to any of these scenes…I think I have the right not to have my son ask me, ‘Daddy, why is there a picture of someone’s naked bottom on that snowboard? Why is there a picture of a bloody hand all over that snowboard?’”

Please send Burton a message:

Primo snowboards are a public health hazard.
Self-injury is not a sport. There is nothing athletic about self-mutilation.
Graphic illustrations of bleeding fingers are insensitive and trivialize a symptom of mental illness.
Be one of the good guys. Stop toxic marketing. Support mental health education instead.

Contact:

Mr. Laurent Potdevin, CEO
Burton Snowboard Company
80 Industrial Parkway
Burlington, VT 05401
info@burton.com.

StigmaBusters involved in youth-oriented programs are especially encouraged to contact Burton’s Chill Program to emphasize that the Primo line is a black-eye to the good the company tries to do. They are at risk of losing goodwill and credibility.

Katherine McConnell
Burton Snowboard Company
Director of Chill Program
katherinem@burton.com

Telling our children that we care about them

2008-11-14T07:45:00.000-05:00

With so much going on in our lives and the lives of our little ones, we sometimes forget that our words, no matter how insignificant, can make a difference in a child's life.

Giving our children praises is crucial to building their self-esteem. And letting them know that we care about them helps them to turn to us when they need to talk.

The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration hosts a Family Guide website. There you can find a list of phrases that you can say to your child to let them know that you love them.

Sometimes it's not simply saying, "I love you," although that is a great thing for a child to hear, but often it's saying, "how can I help you," or, "I know you are sad so tell me about that." Letting our children know that we want to listen is often enough of an invitation for them to share their thoughts, concerns, and feelings with us.

Check out the list, and make it a point today to tell a child that you care about them.

*I realize that some of you might be thinking, "I tell my child that I love her everyday," and your child thanks you for that. But this list includes phrases for various situations, and it's a simple reminder that the little things really do count.

Sexting - have you heard of it?

2008-11-13T07:45:00.004-05:00

I read this commentary on Teen Checkup, and I thought, "thank goodness my child is still a baby." Really, God help me when it's time for me to make decisions such as whether or not my child will be allowed a cell phone. It's not boding well for him.

According to the commentator, young people, especially those in middle school, are engaging in a behavior called "sexting." Sexting occurs when kids (or anyone, for that matter) take naked pictures of themselves and then send the picture to others (who then forward the picture to an unimaginable number of people). Did your mouth just drop to the floor? Because mine did the first time I read this.

And I like to think that I am not naive. In fact, I have received naked pictures through spam or immature friends via text message. But never did it occur to me that young people would take pictures of their own body to be flashed across the digital world - for what, fun?

As if the natural consequences of this behavior are not enough, sexting is actually child pornography. Under federal law, child pornography is a criminal act, and is defined as a visual depiction of any kind, including a drawing, cartoon, sculpture, painting, photograph, film, video, or computer-generated image or picture, where it depicts a minor engaging in sexually explicit conduct and is obscene.

For instance, a 15-year-old Ohio girl is facing felony charges and may have to register as a sex offender after allegedly sending naked pictures of herself from her cell phone. What might have seemed like a funny game is actually a criminal offense.

The commentator concludes, "some people may argue that sexting is harmless and, perhaps, a form of safe sex. I would agree if 18-year-olds were doing it."

Excuse me, but even as an adult, I do not find sexting harmless. I find it disgusting, offensive, and troubling. And if any man text me a picture of himself in the buff, you better believe I would file a harassment charge.

If you have a teenager who has a cell phone, please talk with them. It is the parent's job to know what information and communication children are receiving from all media and digital outlets.

There are many benefits to allowing your child to have a cell phone (sorry, I don't discuss many of them here), but that doesn't mean your child should be allowed phone privileges carte blanche.

Let me know your thoughts on sexting and how you intend on working with your teen to prevent them from ever being involved in such behaviors.

Let's eat.

2008-11-12T08:00:00.001-05:00

With the holidays approaching, I wonder how many of us are engaging in food, fun, and family the traditional way - sitting together around the table.

Anymore it seems that families and their overstuffed schedules are running in fifty different directions from the time the bell rings to the time everyone falls into their beds way past bedtime. So how are we making time to actually sit and eat together?

According to a spokesperson for the American Dietetic Association, "families who eat together have healthier, more balanced diets. Making family mealtime a priority not only improves everyone's physical health, but it also contributes to their overall well-being and mental health."

One thing about eating together that appeals to me is that it allows me to control what my son is putting in his mouth. When he is elsewhere, I never know what he is receiving in terms of food and nutrition. And as he gets older and spends more time away from home (boo-hoo), I know that this will be an even greater struggle.

Additionally, eating together as a family allows parents to establish hopeful habits for their children. One day my son might go off to college thus taking a sabbatical from home-cooked meals for weeks or even a month at a time (say it ain't so). But I will have some peace in knowing that five years at college surely can't negate my eighteen years of meal-together rituals established here in my home.

Furthermore, my husband was raised in a small town miles away from a restaurant of any sort. Nearly every evening meal that he consumed was prepared in his mother's kitchen and delivered to the family at the dining room table. Now my husband might be a rare breed, but because of this delicious upbringing, my husband can cook a serious meal - breakfast, lunch, dinner - you name it, he can cook it. What joy that brings me my family!

Additionally, mealtime is a perfect lab setting for learning socialization skills and manners. The dinner table is a wonderful place for children to practice how we want them to behave in public. Though mealtime can and should be enjoyable, there is no harm in learning how to keep our napkin on our lap or how to ask, "can you please pass the salt?"

Finally, eating together establishes ritual and tradition. I take great comfort in knowing that, no matter what happens during the day, my family will be together for dinner. Growing up, I always sat in the same seat on the same side of the table during our meals together, and it would not have felt the same had my father, for instance, taken a different chair at the table one evening. To me, our everyone-has-an-assigned-seat was like a security blanket.

In fact, a 2004 Archives of Pediatric and Adolescent Medicine study found that families who regularly eat together are closer than those who eat separately. When we sit down with our children we create an environment conducive to communication. Mealtime is a great opportunity to actually talk with our kids rather than simply mentioning something in passing as we often do when we are scurrying off to the next event. Also, dinnertime occurs at the end of the day, which means that by then, we all have some catching up to do.

As we approach the holidays, it would do us all good to break-in the dining room table before our company arrives. Nothing fancy, nothing formal - just family, food, and memories.

To read more about the wonders of mealtime, visit this article.

The Stranger

2008-11-11T08:00:00.008-05:00

I received this email as a forward. I have no idea where it originated.

A few years after I was born, my dad met a stranger who was new to our small town. From the beginning, Dad was fascinated with this enchanting newcomer and soon invited him to live with our family. The stranger was quickly accepted and was around from then on.
As I grew up, I never questioned his place in my family. In my young mind, he had a special niche. My parents were complementary instructors: Mom taught me good from evil, and Dad taught me to obey. But the stranger ... he was our storyteller. He would keep us spellbound for hours on end with adventures, mysteries, and comedies. If I wanted to know anything about politics, history or science, he always knew the answers about the past, understood the present and even seemed able to predict the future!
He took my family to the football and cricket games. He made me laugh, and he made me cry. The stranger never stopped talking, but Dad didn't seem to mind.

Sometimes, Mom would get up quietly while the rest of us were shushing each other to listen to what he had to say, and she would go to the kitchen for peace and quiet. (I wonder now if she ever prayed for the stranger to leave.)
Dad ruled our household with certain moral convictions, but the stranger never felt obligated to honor them. Profanity, for example, was not allowed in our home ... not from us, our friends or any visitors. Our longtime visitor, however, got away with four-letter words that burned my ears and made my dad squirm and my mother blush.
My dad didn't permit the liberal use of alcohol. But the stranger encouraged us to try it on a regular basis. He made cigarettes look cool, cigars manly, and pipes distinguished. He talked freely (much too freely) about sex. His comments were sometimes blatant, sometimes suggestive, and generally embarrassing.
I now know that my early concepts about relationships were influenced strongly by the stranger. Time after time, he opposed the values of my parents, yet he was seldom rebuked ... And NEVER asked to leave.
More than fifty years have passed since the stranger moved in with our family. He has blended right in and is not nearly as fascinating as he was at first. If you could walk into my parents' den today, you would still find him sitting over in his corner, waiting for someone to listen to him talk and watch him draw his pictures.
His name?
We just call him 'TV.'
*Note: He has a wife now ... We call her 'Computer'.

With my recent posts on technology, I thought this story was a perfect illustration!

Candy, Consumption, & Cavities

2008-11-10T08:00:00.006-05:00

If you still have Halloween candy lingering around your house, you might want to consider ridding of it, and quick.

According to a CNN.com/health article, the fewer episodes of candy eating, the better. The author states, "although some parents may be tempted to space out the amount of candy their children consume after Halloween, dentists have advice to the contrary: When it comes to teeth, it's better to eat a whole lot of candy at once than to space out candy consumption over time." Repeated consumption leads to cavities thus it's better to eat a bunch of candy and then brush your teeth rather than spreading that candy out over time.

So if you must, spend the rest of the day gorging on leftover Halloween candy. Do what you can to limit your child's exposure to the cavity-producing substance over time, and insist that your children brush their teeth after any candy consumption from this point forward.

And really, did you need another reason to be the one to finish off the last few Snickers?

Lessons from a potato peeler

2008-11-07T08:00:00.004-05:00

I read this article (and watched the video) about Joe the Potato Peeler on Park Avenue. Joe is a hard-working, passionate, and dynamic salesman. His story is simple yet inspirational. Though his story offers many "life lessons," the most valuable lesson that I gained from Joe the Potato Peeler is that loving what you do is invaluable. This great lesson is one that I hope to teach my children though I don't think it is a lesson that can be taught. Rather I believe life experiences - celebrating our successes and overcoming our mistakes - allows us to gain the perspective that leads to such life lessons. It is my hope that I allow my children to celebrate their successes and learn from their mistakes so that they can ultimately learn to love what they do no matter what that is.

Post-election instructions

2008-11-06T08:00:00.004-05:00

It is now two days since the 2008 Presidential Election, and naturally, the country is still on fire - either on fire because of excitement or on fire because of disappointment. And though these last few days have been intense and emotional, I encourage everyone to step back and look at this historic moment from a child's perspective. What are our children learning from this? What are we teaching our children through this?

November, 2008, provides us with a wonderful opportunity to teach our children great lessons surrounding politics, liberty, and citizenship.

I recently read a fantastic commentary by a Christian educator, Dr. Mosbacker. I believe that his instructions to us are profound and necessary during this time of transition. Even if you do not aline yourself with the Christian faith, I believe that these instructions are worth considering because they focus on nonpartisanship through a greater cause.

Here is an overview of Dr. Mosbacker's instructions, though I encourage you to check out the entire commentary on his blog.

Pray for the new President and mean it.
Pray for our country.
Verbally express due honor to the Office of the President and to the man who occupies it.
Use the election to teach your students (or children) how to work through the various policy issues from a biblical perspective - not from a Democratic or Republican one.
Instead of always protesting what is wrong, offer solutions and prepare our students (or children) to do the same.
Celebrate the moral progress that this election represents.
Remember that "for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose."

*The picture of the troops circled in prayer was too beautiful not to include in this post. What an example they are!

TV, Teens, & Sex

2008-11-05T08:00:00.003-05:00

According to a recent study published in Pediatrics, the official journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics, teenagers’ exposure to sexual content on TV is linked to teen pregnancies. The study found that teens exposed to high levels of sexual content on television were twice as likely to be involved in a pregnancy in the following three years as teens with limited exposure.

The study's lead author cautioned that exposure to TV is not the only factor relating to teen pregnancies. She stated, “we don’t think that [TV] is necessarily more significant than some of the family and neighborhood factors that can lead to teen pregnancies. But even when we removed all the other factors, we still saw a compelling link between a high exposure to sexual content on television and teen pregnancies.”

Additionally, the study's abstract states:

This is the first study to demonstrate a prospective link between exposure to sexual content on television and the experience of a pregnancy before the age of 20. Limiting adolescent exposure to the sexual content on television and balancing portrayals of sex in the media with information about possible negative consequences might reduce the risk of teen pregnancy. Parents may be able to mitigate the influence of this sexual content by viewing with their children and discussing these depictions of sex.

It seems that I continue to be made aware of research challenging my decision to let my son watch TV. As for now, I limit his TV exposure as best I can, and as he matures, I intend on having some very honest conversations with him about what he sees on TV, on the computer, in magazines, and anywhere else that the media is present. I believe that is ultimately the best that we can do as parents - talk to our kids. It is impossible to protect them from everything, but it is very possible to talk to them about anything.

The next President: Invested in our children's future

2008-11-04T06:00:00.000-05:00

Today marks one of the most historical elections of all time. It is my hope that we are engaging our children in healthy political debates, and educating them about the electoral and democratic processes. Both presidential candidates are invested in the future of our children, and each has written an essay highlighting the importance of young people in this election.

I share their words with you.

A More Peaceful and Prosperous World
by Senator John McCain

Throughout this election we've been fortunate to witness the inspiring involvement of so many young Americans, many of whom are not even old enough to vote. Families are bringing their children to campaign events; teenagers are canvassing neighborhoods; and college students are organizing student groups. With so much at stake in this election, I am proud to witness the involvement of this new generation of Americans. They understand their participation is not limited to the ballot box: they are volunteering their time and effort to improve the well-being of our country.

Blogs, MySpace, Facebook, and YouTube have changed the way young people participate in the political process. I have made it a priority to reach young people by participating in such venues as the MTV/MySpace Presidential Dialogue, hosting a blog on my website, and reaching out through social networking sites.

Reaching young people isn't simply about the logistics of how you communicate; it is about what you communicate. Young people are not fixated on a single issue. They want leaders who will address the many critical issues directly affecting their lives, the lives of their families, and the people in their communities.

At town hall meetings across the country, I am repeatedly inspired by the commitment of the young women and men who crowd in to have their voices heard — veterans home from Iraq, relating what they saw, telling us to let them win; volunteers with the ONE Campaign talking about their efforts to alleviate global poverty; recent college graduates wondering what I will do to make health care affordable; and the countless young people who ask how I plan to combat the problem of climate change.

After 9/11, leaders in Washington missed an opportunity to call young people to service. Young men and women, who are willing to give of themselves and sacrifice, want a leader who will ask something of them. Young people want — and deserve — to have their opinions respected and their concerns taken seriously. I know this and will continue to call on young people to serve causes greater than their own self-interest.

Young people understand the power that the political process wields as a force for change, and they are actively engaged in harnessing that power to bring about change for their families, their communities and their world. I see, in the efforts and enthusiasm of America's youth, that our nation's best days are ahead of us. I hear the message of young people loud and clear, and as President, I will honor the obligation of today's leaders to leave the next generation a more peaceful and prosperous world than the one we have today.

Choices for a Rising Generation
by Senator Barack Obama

We are in a defining moment in our history. We're fighting two wars. Our planet is in peril. Our economy is in turmoil. And the dream that so many generations fought for feels as if it's slowly slipping away.

Now, I know that the easiest thing in the world for young people to do is nothing at all. To turn off the TV, put down the newspaper, and walk away from the stories about Iraq or Darfur or the rising levels of joblessness and hopelessness in our own communities. To go about their busy lives, wishing these problems away, expecting someone else to solve them. To remain detached and indifferent.

But I hope they don't do what is easy — because sometimes, there are moments when what's truly risky is not to act. What's truly risky is to accept things as they are instead of working for what could be.

Taking action can mean getting involved politically. We've seen huge numbers of young people taking part in our campaign. They're knocking on doors and making phone calls and helping fight to bring about real change in this country.

But action can also happen outside the political arena. I was born the year that John F. Kennedy called a generation of Americans to ask their country what they could do. And I came of age at a time when they did it. They were the Peace Corps volunteers who won a generation of goodwill toward America. They were the teenagers and college students who knew it was probably safer to stay at home, but still decided to take the Freedom Rides down South. And because they did, they changed the world. And they inspired me, just out of college, to move to Chicago to help lift up neighborhoods that were devastated when the local steel plants closed.

So at this historic moment, we must ask our rising generation to serve their country as Americans always have — by working on a political campaign or joining the military, by doing community service or relief work abroad. Because that's how real change has always come — from ordinary people coming together to do extraordinary things; from all those, young and old, black, white, and brown, who were willing to do what was risky and what was hard and put their shoulders to the wheel of history, and turn it towards opportunity and equality and justice for all.

Children & Politics

2008-11-03T08:00:00.002-05:00

Here are a few great tips for engaging children in the election process. My favorite is "take your children with you when you vote." Even though our son is too young to understand what goes on, my husband and I will be taking him with us tomorrow. It is a tradition that we want to start because we believe that our behavior is what will shape his desire (0r lack of) to one day be an actively involved citizen.

It is our honor and right to vote tomorrow - not simply for us, but more importantly, for our children's future and the future of our family.

And if you haven't already, PLEASE exercise your right to vote tomorrow!

Trick-or-Treat caution

2008-10-31T08:18:00.001-04:00

Last night, as I returned from trick-or-treat at my parents' house, I thought about all the Halloween hype and the real dangers of the holiday (we spent beggar's night at my parents' house because they had friends and family over for hot dogs and s'mores). In my opinion, parents need not worry much about poisonous candy and boogey-men but rather the simple dangers that are associated with young kids running around in the dark in floor-length costumes. Before your child heads out, ask yourself: What is the likelihood that a driver will see your child if she darts out in the street? Is your child carrying a flashlight? Is your child trick-or-treating in a well-lit area? Is your child wearing roller shoes? Is your child's costume hitting the ground, or is his mask making it hard for him to see where he is going? These concerns are the real concerns of trick-or-treating. I encourage everyone to be extra cautious this time of year as children are running around after dark, wearing dark-colored costumes, and lacking the proper gear (reflectors or a flashlight) for a night-time outing.

Happy Halloween!

Too sexy Halloween

2008-10-30T08:50:00.007-04:00

With Halloween only a day away, many parents are scurrying to find their child a costume for the holiday. But their shopping might prove to be especially challenging as many of the costumes available are too sexy for their young one(s).

Author and professor Diane Levin recently spoke with the Los Angeles Times about this concern.
Halloween costumes for 7- and 8-year-old girls and even younger have become downright titillating, and for tweens and teens, the vast majority of those sold in stores and on the Internet are unabashedly sexually alluring.
Little girls and their big sisters are being encouraged to get dressed up, in many cases, like child prostitutes. Then, they wander the night judging and being judged by their friends as to how well they meet the provocative standard and begging for candy from strangers.
This is a continuation of what's been going on for quite a while: Halloween costumes are reflecting an increasingly sexualized childhood.

So what is a parent to do?

Simply put, say NO!

Levin put it this way:

Say you go to a store with your 8-year-old and she's trying to get a sexy costume and you're insisting on something more wholesome. It's becoming a battle. You need to stop and ask, "What do you like about that costume?" She may say, "Jenny and Susie all have something like that and they'll think I'm a dork if I don't." And then you say, "But my concern is that that looks like a costume for an older person. It seems we need to find a costume where you feel OK and I feel OK. How about this one -- which looks a little sexy to me but I feel OK with it?"
The idea is to let kids know we're there, we hear them, we're going to influence what they're learning. But we're also going to respect their thinking. So when kids need our help, they're more likely to come to us.

I'm a big fan of this - talk to your child, listen to your child, respect your child, and try to find compromise. Sure, you might end up putting your foot down, but at least have a conversation with your child first. There is a lot both parent and child can learn from these situations, and ultimately, we want our children to be safe and to understand the importance of our concern(s) for them.

School for the Blind Marching Band

2008-10-29T08:54:00.003-04:00

On Saturday my husband and I went to a pep rally before a college football game, and featured there was a group of amazing young people, The Ohio State School for the Blind. What is especially exciting about this school is that their marching band has been selected to march in the 2010 Rose Bowl parade in Pasadena, California. Yes, folks, I said march. Assisted by sighted marchers, this band consisting of 17 members will be heading cross-country to be the first blind band to march in the legendary parade.

When I first learned of this, I was overcome with emotion. This is about young people doing amazing things, deserving amazing opportunities, and embarking on uncharted territory. You better believe that I will be looking for them on TV as I watch the 2010 parade, and I will be cheering them on from 3000 miles away!

Background TV not good for kids

2008-10-28T10:48:00.000-04:00

In my seven months of motherhood, I have spent a lot of time thinking about whether or not I will allow my son to watch TV (movies and videos included), and if so, what limitations will I put on this privilege. Well the time has come for me to get serious about this decision. Just this morning I had my son in my arms, and as he fussed, I switched the TV from the Today show to the Disney Channel. I kid you not, my son was so enthralled in Handy Mandy that within minutes, he had fallen asleep.

I was somewhat shocked by the effects of one program, but more than shocked, I was feeling guilty. I had used TV to put my child to sleep. And he's only a baby! And though I hate to admit it, this wasn't the first time that I have turned to the TV to entertain my son.

Because I realize how easy it is to use the TV as a babysitter, child-calmer, and baby-soother, I decided to start thinking seriously about the issue and making some decisions. I imagine that I will allow him to watch some TV, but how much, I am still not sure. I am finding that it is not simply about what he watches. It's equally important that I consider what I am watching when he is present. Not only because of the PG-13 rated content of many shows and commercials, and the link to childhood obesity, but also because of the exposure to constant background noise.

According to a recent study, leaving the TV set on disrupts young children while they are playing and may be detrimental to a child's development. The study found that background TV disrupts the toy play of young children, even when they paid little attention to it; "when the television was on, the children played for significantly shorter periods of time and the time they spent focused on their play was shorter, compared to when the TV was off." According to the study's lead author, "Background TV is potentially a chronic environmental risk factor affecting most American children. Parents should limit their young children's exposure to background television."

Hhm. This complicates things. I not only need to consider limitations to my son's TV exposure but also for mine. And my husband's. Fortunately we only have one TV (and we plan on keeping it that way), but our house is small, and when the TV is on, it nearly fills the entire house with background noise. And I can't help but wonder if the constant background noise is a factor in the attention deficit disorders suffered by so many of our youth.

This recent study leaves me with more to think about as I decide what is best for my son. But more importantly, it leaves me with a challenge. Am I willing to sacrifice my own entertainment for the health and well-being of my son? I hope so (though easier said than done, I am sure).

A board game for parents

2008-10-27T09:34:00.004-04:00

This is interesting: Parent Talk, a board game for parents about parenting. Parent Talk encourages communication between partners about how to raise their children. The players move through questions and scenarios that are designed to instigate discussion between family and friends. It's a fun, and hopefully light-hearted, way to get talking about many issues that you and your partner might not have thought about before having children.

Here is an example of one of the questions:

Your backyard is fenced in. Your 3-year-old loves to play outside. You have a lot to do inside. Do you let your child play outside alone?

a. You must be joking.
b. No! She is too young to be unsupervised even for a moment.
c. Only if I can keep an eye on her through the window.
d. Yes, if she has other children with her.
e. None of the above.

How would you answer? Do you know how your partner would answer? And if you and your partner disagree, can you find a compromise?

Parent Talk is a unique way for parents to tackle the many issues that confront parents who simply want to raise happy and healthy children.

Playtime!

2008-10-24T08:52:00.000-04:00

The last couple of posts have been way too serious. Invite the kid in you to come out and play!

This is a safe and fun site for kids, too!

More on the abortion debate

2008-10-23T07:52:00.017-04:00

Alyssa's comment to my previous post prompted me to do more research on the subjects of abortion and Planned Parenthood. I realize that by expressing my frustration and disappointment with Planned Parenthood, I am leaving young women with no other options during their time of confusion, fear, and despair. If they cannot turn to Planned Parenthood, then where can they turn? Unfortunately, the answer is grim.

I tried to put myself in the shoes of a young girl, maybe 15-years-old, who just discovered that she is pregnant. After crying and freaking out, I think that I would start googling.

So the first thing I googled was "abortion." The top three search results were as follows: Wikipedia, AbortionFacts.com, and Planned Parenthood. Beyond that, there were a couple of other potential resources, but most of the results related to the medical definitions of abortion.

I realize that Planned Parenthood is the most available, well-known, and reputable option. I think that is why I am so disappointed with them. And I'm disappointed in our society that there isn't a less biased resource available to women. Actually I wish that Planned Parenthood offered young people equal information and resources from both "sides." In other words, what if I am a young girl who believes that abortion is a sin. Who is going to talk me through that while respecting my beliefs? And maybe that's not the role of Planned Parenthood, but then how can they claim that they stand for knowledge, equality and choice?

I had not heard of AbortionFacts.com, but because they were the number two search result, I decided to check them out.

AbortionFacts.com is sponsored by Heritage House, a pro-life, pro-family, Christian organization. The information is strongly pro-life, and the site offers several hotlines and resources for women contemplating abortion.

As stated by AbortionFacts.com: "Our mission is simple. We have brought together quality information on the abortion debate from many different sources and made it available to the world in one abortion megasite. We believe these facts point to an obvious conclusion. You are free to accept or reject this conclusion. We simply ask that whatever you do, do it on the basis of fact."

One of the site's links is to OptionLine. OptionLine offers the opportunity to reach a consultant 24-hours a day via phone, email or instant message. According to OptionLine, available consultants will connect individuals to nearby pregnancy centers that offer the following confidential services:

free pregnancy tests and pregnancy information
abortion and Morning After Pill information, including procedures and risks
medical services, including STD tests
early ultrasounds and pregnancy confirmation
confidential pregnancy options
after Abortion resources including community resources that help with post-abortion concerns

Unfortunately, AbortionFacts.com is not well-known, reputable or user-friendly. The site is poorly constructed and hard to read. I would love to find a balance between Planned Parenthood and AbortionFacts.com - a thriving and approachable resource that truly provides EVERYTHING a young woman needs during such a difficult and potentially life-changing time.

Planned Parenthood: Not Recommended.

2008-10-22T06:15:00.000-04:00

Abortion has and always will be a hot topic surrounded by an enormous amount of debate, and I am extremely hesitant as I consider leaving this post knowing that the word alone is enough to fire people up. But I have a thing or two to say regarding this issue, so at the risk of stirring the pot, here I go.

The abortion debate is making headlines in my state of Ohio as the Ohio Supreme Court is called to determine whether or not Planned Parenthood systematically ignored evidence of abuse against girls who visited Planned Parenthood's 37 Ohio clinics for abortions. These allegations stem from a 2004 case when "a 14-year-old girl showed up at a Cincinnati abortion clinic accompanied by a 21-year-old who was not her relative." The 14-year-old went to a Planned Parenthood clinic with her 21-year-old soccer coach who had impregnated her. The girl identified him as her step-brother, and she gave the clinic her coach's number saying it was her father's. The coach used his credit card to pay for the abortion. The coach was later convicted of seven counts of sexual battery.
The fact that Planned Parenthood fell for the ruse suggests that its staff and doctors are willing to overlook evidence of abuse. Planned Parenthood approved the child for the abortion overlooking several red flags that should have caused them to suspect statutory rape.

I'm not going to further discuss this issue because it disgusts me to no end. But the story did spark a desire in me to better understand the parent consent laws in my state (they vary from state to state).

In the State of Ohio, a minor must receive parental consent in order to receive an abortion. It's very hard for me to believe that this consent can be given over the phone, but as in the case cited above, it happens - wow.

While researching this issue, I came across a resource developed by Planned Parenthood for teens: teenwire.com. I really want to support a resource that offers teens sex education because I believe that talking with our kids about sex is important. But Planned Parenthood's site rubs me the wrong way. They throw out phrases such as, "the best way to protect yourself is to get a prescription from a health center or private health care provider before an accident happens," and "most women, in the long-term, experience feelings of relief after they have an abortion." Um, excuse me? The best way to protect yourself is called ABSTINENCE. Who are these yahoos? I'm not a proponent of abstinence-only education, but let's get real here, it is the only surefire way to avoid STD's and pregnancy. Geesh. And what about this "relief after an abortion" b.s.? Sure, I imagine that there is an element of relief that many women experience, but the women that I know who have had an abortion struggle continuously with that decision. And by continuously, I mean they have struggled for YEARS.

I wish that I could support Planned Parenthood's efforts, but I'm so disappointed by their pro-abortion and pro-sex philosophies. Sure, they can argue that they present facts and education, but anyone who has a brain can see that what they present is hardly unbiased.

I want to believe that Planned Parenthood offers young women with everything that they need during such a difficult time: facts, counseling, prayer, resources, love, support, truth. But sadly, my research leads me to believe that they don't.

Don't believe everything you hear as Halloween draws near.

2008-10-21T13:25:00.006-04:00

October 31st is approaching which means it is almost time for us to send our children out collecting treats only to make them dump everything onto the living room floor so that we can sort through it all. Throw out any candy that appears partially opened, and most certainly dispose of anything that has been repackaged or hand-baked! Oh, and take test bites of each individual candy in case someone buried a razor blade in one of them.

Every year, I receive Watch-Out! emails from friends and family that basically say the same thing - bad people want to poison and hurt your children so don't let them eat any candy that resembles x,y, or z.

Sure enough, I received my first Watch-Out! email this morning.

This particular email claimed that the local sheriff's office is urging parents to be suspect of a drug called Strawberry Quick. The "alert" was printed on professional letterhead, and it contained information about a form of crystal meth that looks and smells like strawberry candy. There was even a link to a Fox News article that covered the dangers of this drug.

I am always suspect of these emails, and thanks to a colleague of mine, I have discovered Snopes.com. Let me make one thing clear: Snopes.com is not the absolute when it comes to uncovering the truth about suspicious information and rumor. Snopes.com simply investigates seemingly harmless rumors and attempts to set the record straight.

In the case of Straweberry Quick, Snopes validates that some drug dealers sell crystal meth that is colored and coincidentally resembles Pop Rocks, but Snopes argues that this drug is not flavored in order to market the drug to children. Snopes backs up this information by uncovering the layers of updates and email examples that have been floating around in cyberspace attempting to freak out parents everywhere.

Let me be clear, there is always the possibility that some bad man could candy-coat crystal meth and drop it in your child's trick-or-treat bucket. But the reality is that there are more "bad" people who instigate a seemingly harmless email chain of false information than there are "bad" people who are really going to seriously harm your child. Some immature and computer savvy teenager probably thinks it's funny to send out a spooky email in order to ruffle a few feathers.

Again Snopes.com is not the end-all-be-all. But it is a good place to start when you are wondering if maybe someone is trying to get a rise out of the public during an already eerie time of year.

Mighty Mommy

2008-10-19T13:59:00.004-04:00

Whenever I have a grammar question, the first website that I turn to is always Grammar Girl. Hosted by Mignon Fogarty, Grammar Girl tackles grammar and writing in a way that is accurate, witty and funny. Her grammar tips are "quick and dirty," and her claim-to-fame is her "Quick and Dirty Tips" podcasts.

In addition to grammar galore, her site features quick and dirty parenting tips from The Mighty Mommy. Each week, host CJ Feierabend shares her practical parenting advice in short podcasts. Feierabend offers tips from diapering to taking family photos. In addition to downloading the podcasts, one can read the entire episode transcripts online.

Mighty Mommy is a great resource for moms-on-the-go who could use parenting advice (can't we all?) but don't spend a lot of time reading online. Simply download the podcasts and listen to them when you are squeezing in a morning jog or driving across town to pick up the kids.

Mommy Einstein

2008-10-18T09:56:00.003-04:00

According to an article in The Sun, Babies aid mothers' brains. Though many moms-to-be report suffering from "baby brain" (forgetfulness, absent-mindedness, etc.), experts now believe that when baby is born, mom's intelligence soars. The study performed tests on rats that showed mom rats became braver and faster once becoming a mommy. Experts believe that during pregnancy, mom's brain is rewiring to cope with motherhood, and it is when baby is born that mom receives her IQ boost.

But scientifically proven or not, mom's have a remarkable ability to successfully juggle meal planning, house cleaning, baby rearing, schedule planning, spouse maintaining, and the list goes on - moms certainly don't need a rat to tell them that they are brilliant!

Veggies and Fruit and Nutrition, Oh my!

2008-10-17T12:53:00.004-04:00

In conjunction with a grant from Ohio Action for Healthy Kids, a local elementary school initiated a "Take a Taste" program which gives children a chance to sample different fruits and vegetables. The monthly program offers elementary school children a taste of healthy foods that they might not typically find in an ordinary snack pack. The goal is to increase nutrition in young people by exposing them to a variety of nutritious foods. School is a great lab for this program because healthy kids equates to more on-task, alert, and energized students. What a wonderful and fun way to invest in a child's healthy and education!

Teens, Text, Talk, Drive

2008-10-15T09:36:00.006-04:00

UPDATE: To see related post by same author, please check out BlogMommas.

Last week I published a post discussing Ford's MyKey programmable computer chip which allows parents to limit their teen driver's speed. I like the idea, and I said that I would like it even more if it somehow disrupted the teen driver's cell phone signal so that he/she could not talk or text while driving.

Well ask and you shall receive! This morning I read an article about a device that would do just that.

Nationwide Insurance Co. has teamed up with Aegis Mobility, and they hope to offer a service next year that "informs a caller or texter that the intended recipient is driving and can't be reached at the moment. Meanwhile, the driver would be oblivious to the call and free to focus on driving."

DriveAssist is a downloadable software that uses motion-sensing technologies to determine when someone is driving (the service can be disabled if the user is a passenger). With DriveAssist, callers can leave a voice mail, send an emergency alert, have the call connected when the driver is done, or even find out where the driver is located. The software offers flexibility by allowing the driver to make 911 calls and allow some numbers to always come through.

So far no cell-phone carriers have signed on to provide the service, but Aegis is hoping to launch DriveAssist next year. Though the price will depend on the provider, it is expected to cost between $10 and $20 a month (a bit pricey, if you ask me).

What a great way to insure that your son or daughter is faced with one less distraction while on the road.

For more information, check out this video.

Drive through flu shots

2008-10-14T06:28:00.000-04:00

Often I roll my eyes at our culture's demand for convenience. I could literally spend the entire day in my car - not getting out once - and still accomplish A LOT. A productive yet staionary day could look like this: drive through for coffee, drive through the bank, drive through the pharmacy, drive through for lunch, drive through the dry cleaners, drive through for a daiquiri (only in Louisiana), drive through the library book drop-off, and pick up dinner curb-side. Whether it's our increasing "drive" for cramming more into our already over-scheduled day or just sheer laziness, America has found a way to make almost everything quicker and more convenient.

And in an effort to stay active and have real interactions with human beings, I try and avoid the drive-through whenever I can (but it's so darn easy to simply drive through when I need a diet coke).

But there is a drive-through initiative that I can support: drive through flu shots! That is one cause that really is better when made easier!

Face it, no one wants to get their flu shot. Sure they want to be healthy and stay healthy, but a needle in the arm? No thanks. So in an effort to make this less-than-desirable task easier, many groups have worked towards making this less of a hassle and more of a convenience.

Most of us have been to the grocery store when it's announced that flu shots are available near the pharmacy, but now there isn't even a need to get out of your car!

I first heard about this in my own community. Our county's health board is offering flu shots for a minimal fee at a nearby park. All they ask is that you wear short-sleeves so that your shot can be administered with your window rolled down as you remain seated in your car. Can you believe this?

I then googled "drive through flu shots," and found that this is a nationwide trend. "Clinics" are popping up all around the country. Many of these clinics offer free shots to individuals on Medicare and Medicaid stating that no one will be turned away for the inability to pay. Wow - how awesome. Efficient and cost-effective!

If you are interested in driving through for your flu shot, I encourage you to google "drive through flu shots" and the name of your city.

Because I would feel guilty if I wasn't completely honest, I must admit that I never get a flu shot. I might get a cold a couple of times a year, but that's about it. I have my reasons for not getting the shot, but I'm not a physician, so this certainly isn't my recommendation. According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, it is recommend that most people get a flu shot, especially people over 50, children ages 6 months and older, and women who are pregnant. For a complete list of Who Should Get Vaccinated and Who Should Not Be Vaccinated, check out the CDC's website.

I should also note that there is now a nasal-spray flu vaccine available and is approved for use in healthy people 2-49 years of age who are not pregnant. To my knowledge, FluMist is not available at drive-through clinics, and usually FluMist is only offered per request at your doctor's office.

Vitamin D & Kids

2008-10-13T16:47:00.004-04:00

A recent report released by the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends doubling the amount of vitamin D consumption for infants, children and adolescents. It recommends that all children receive 400 IU of vitamin D a day.

According to the AAP's website: "adequate vitamin D throughout childhood may reduce the risk of osteoporosis. In adults, new evidence suggests that vitamin D plays a role in the immune system and may help prevent infections, autoimmune diseases, cancer and diabetes." Additionally, it is recommended that children receive daily supplements of vitamin D as most children do not get enough vitamin D through diet alone.

Children & Cars

2008-10-12T09:00:00.009-04:00

A nearby community suffered a great loss over the weekend when a young boy was struck and killed by a driver in a parking lot. The tragedy occurred during a morning of sports games at a local sports field. The young boy (4-years-old) was leaving a youth league football game with his family (his father is a coach) when he was struck by a pickup truck that was driving in the crowded parking lot. The boy was rushed to the hospital and pronounced dead.

This incident is especially concerning because of the environment in which it occured. I would hope that drivers in a youth field parking lot would be especially cautious knowing how many children are running around. I would also hope that drivers would be driving slowly so that if an accident did occur, the impact would be minimal. And this little guy was with his family, meaning that his parents were present, and I imagine that other adults were nearby when the accident happened.

But this tragedy demonstrates that you can never be too careful. These things happen so quickly, and I imagine that the many cars and people in the parking lot had something to do with the likelihood of this accident.

There is a national organization that aims to prevent accidents like this. Kids and Cars' mission is "to assure no child dies or is injured in a non-traffic, motor vehicle related event." They believe that these types of accidents are preventable, and they offer valuable resources geared toward preventing a child from being injured or killed. They offer specific resources including information regarding the following topics:

Backed Over by Vehicle (Backovers)
Hit By Vehicle Moving Forward (Frontovers)
Car Theft With Child In Vehicle
Children Left in Vehicle (Heat Stroke Or Hyperthermia)
Incidents Involving Power Windows
Vehicle Set in Motion by a Child
Underage Drivers

I urge everyone to peruse the Kids and Cars website - these incidents truly are easily preventable.

*I realize that some of the above statements might seem blameful, and I realize that this incident was merely an accident. I only point out that the situation appeared to be harmless because it helps us to understand how even "safe" situations can have unexpected and serious concerns.

Cold meds update

2008-10-11T10:53:00.008-04:00

Less than a week after the FDA reported that they saw little evidence that over-the-counter cold medications work in children under 6-years-old (but fearing that parents would give kids adult medicines if the products were taken off store shelves), drug companies conceded that children under four should not be given over-the-counter cough and cold remedies. Pediatricians have asked that the drug companies take this one step further by ceasing all marketing of these medications to children under six.

According to an article Tuesday in the AP, drug companies stated that this warning, along with a warning to parents to not give children antihistamines to make them sleepy, will appear on the medications' labels this cold season.

The AP article offered these additional tips for giving cough and cold medicine to children (source: Consumer Healthcare Products Association):

Parents should never:

Give adult medicines to a child.
Give two or more medicines with the same ingredients at the same time.
Give antihistamines to make a child sleepy.

Parents should:

Give the exact recommended dose, using the measuring device that comes with the medicine.
Keep OTC medicines out of sight and out of reach.
Consult their doctor if they have any questions.

Learning from dad

2008-10-08T14:07:00.004-04:00

I am constantly having conversations with moms who feel guilty. Guilty that they didn't spend enough time with one of their children. Guilty that they didn't get the laundry and cooking and cleaning done that day. It truly amazes me that moms constantly judge themselves when, let's face it, moms are accomplishing a crazy amount more than anyone gives them credit for.

But how often do you hear a dad express these same feelings of guilt? Not often. Men are definitely wired differently than women, and there might be a few things that women can learn from them regarding this cloud of guilt. Parents.com offered these three suggestions:

Dads don't try to do it all. Men don't attempt to work full-time, be the primary caregiver to the kids, cook dinner, maintain the home, socialize with their friends and make time for their spouse. They just don't carry those expectations for themselves, plain and simple.
Dads don't feel guilty when they take time for themselves. Men seem to constantly be looking for ways to squeeze in a round of golf or a poker night with their buddies. And when these opportunities arise, they don't think twice about having some me-time.
Dads don't blame themselves for everything. When his little one hits another kid at playgroup, dad doesn't analyze his parenting and blame himself for this otherwise normal childhood occurrence.

So how can us moms be more like the dads? Well, try not to check EVERYTHING off your list everyday. Sure, it's important to get things accomplished, but what's the big deal if you leave one or two things unchecked? And indulge in me-time when you have time (and if you don't have time, make time!). The more refreshed you are, the better off you are as a mom. And finally, embrace what are normal childhood situations. Just accept the fact that your child is going to do something embarrassing and outlandish; it's just a fact of life and not a result of your parenting skills.

Don't get me wrong, I do it too. I read a friend's blog or listen to a friend's story, and I think to myself, "ugh - how is she doing it all?" But just when I think I'm less than superior, I check in with my fatherhood-is-treating-me-well-husband and he reminds me that he hasn't picked up a broom in months and that round of golf he played on Saturday felt great. And when I ask him if he feels the slightest bit of guilt when our son has a 45-minute meltdown before bedtime, he gives me this quizzical look and asks, "why would I feel guilty?"

Parental control

2008-10-08T12:57:00.000-04:00

So what do you think of this idea: Device will help parents limit teen drivers?

Apparently, Ford Motor Co. is rolling out a new feature called "MyKey" on many of its 2010 models. MyKey, a programmable computer chip in the car's key, is designed for parents who want to limit their teen drivers to 80 mph. Additionally, the computer chip allows the parent to limit the system's volume and to enable a function that sounds continuous alerts if the driver doesn't wear a seat belt.

Ford's director of electronic and electrical systems engineering put it this way, "Our message to parents is, hey, we are providing you some conditions to give your new drivers that may allow you to feel a little more comfortable in giving them the car more often."

According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, "more than 5,000 U.S. teens die each year in car crashes. The rate of crashes, fatal and nonfatal, per mile driven for 16-year-old drivers is almost 10 times the rate for drivers ages 30 to 59."

I like this "MyKey" idea. I would like it even more if it somehow disrupted the teen driver's cell phone signal so that he/she could not talk or text while driving. And so that I could still talk to my son even with his cell phone disengaged, allow the parent hands-free audio access into the vehicle so that I could still get ahold of my child to tell him things like, "don't forget, curfew's 11:00pm," or "if you stop by that party then you can kiss Homecoming goodbye." Not to worry, I have fifteen years before my child(ren) will be driving so there is plenty of time for the invention of these nifty enhancements. In the meantime, I am going to pray that I do not become that crazy, overbearing, always-nagging, helicopter parent that I so loathe.

SIDS update

2008-10-07T16:32:00.005-04:00

This month the Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine published a study suggesting that using a fan while a baby is sleeping appears to significantly cut the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, or SIDS.

According to the study, fan use during sleep was associated with a 72% reduction in SIDS risk. The reduction in SIDS risk seemed more pronounced in adverse sleep environments. For example, fan use in warmer room temperatures was associated with a greater reduction in SIDS risk compared with cooler room temperatures. The study concluded that fan use may be an effective intervention for further decreasing SIDS risk in infants in adverse sleep environments.

According to the study's lead researcher, Dr. De-Kun Li, fan use increases air movement in a baby's bedroom that could protect babies from re-breathing carbon dioxide. "If parents want to take an extra measure, they should consider using a fan," he said. But he stressed that using a fan isn't a substitute for placing babies on their backs to sleep.

The frightening thing about SIDS is that there is no known cause, only known risk factors.

The risk factors include:

Tummy or side sleeping
Soft sleep surfaces
Loose bedding
Overheating
Smoking (both mothers who smoke during pregnancy and exposure to second-hand smoke)
Bed sharing
Preterm and low birth weight infants

I commend researchers and advocates for working so diligently to better understand this syndrome which is the leading cause of death in children under one year old. Thanks to their efforts, the SIDS incidence has decreased drastically from 1980, when out of 1000 live births, 1.5 babies died, to now, out of 1000 live births, only 0.5 die from SIDS. That is a tremendous and successful effort for which I am truly grateful.

Child Health Day

2008-10-05T08:48:00.006-04:00

Today is the 80th annual Child Health Day, a health awareness day initiated by the Health Resources & Services Administration, an agency of the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services. Child Health Day's tagline is Eat Healthy & Be Active for a Healthy Future.

As part of the initiative, the surgeon general asks everyone to take this pledge because "a healthy future is our gift to our children":

I pledge to:

Be a role model by making healthy choices for myself.
Help children be physically active through everyday play and participation in sports.
Support children's healthy eating habits.

The initiative cites that 1 in 6 U.S. children between 2 and 19 is overweight (that is roughly 12.5 million children or 17 percent). Overweight children are at greater risk for many serious health problems including asthma, diabetes, and heart disease.

The Child Health Day website is packed with resources, information, and relevant links. I am especially fond of the site's resources pertaining to community involvement. Too many times people turn a blind eye to issues related to children because they do not have children of their own (I have heard, all too often, individuals in my community say, "I'm not voting in favor of that school levy because I don't have any children"). But I believe that we should all be invested in the next generation regardless.

Here are a few of my favorite community involvement suggestions:

Increase the "Walkability" of your community. I live in a community full of bike paths, parks, and green space (roughly one acre of park space for every 40 residents). In addition to backyards and sidewalks, there is a bounty of run-around space.
Increase the number of places people can get healthy food they can afford. I love this idea but I know how difficult it is. Fast-food is convenient and cheap, but it often lacks nutrition. One idea is to host a farmer's market in your community. I think every community should have a farmer's market. My community does not offer a farmer's market, and I think that is ridiculously unbalanced considering my community is resourceful, loaded with "green space," and surrounded by farm land. But don't worry, I have contacted my city's community services department regarding my concern and disappointment.
Build and keep up community recreation areas. My community has a beautiful recreation facility, and I am grateful to its investors for the development and maintenance of the facility. A rec facility is one of the best investments that a community can make as it offers a place for physical activity, recreation and community involvement AND it can be a source of income for the community if the facility has space for performances and workshops.

I encourage everyone to take a minute to consider the health and well-being of a child. You will be giving a gift not only to the next generation but to generations to come.

FDA for Kids

2008-10-05T08:34:00.005-04:00

Yesterday I was putzing around the Food and Drug Administration's website when I found their Kids' Home Page. The kids' web page lacks upmh and appears dated, but it does offer some great information for children and adults.

Allow me to highlight a few of my favorite links from the site:

Food Safety Quiz - Questions about properly handling raw chicken, defrosting meat, and packing a lunch (the quiz only contains five questions - it could use more substance)
Pet ownership information including Are You Ready to Own a Dog & Provide a Safe Home for Your Pet - Both resources are good starting points for a child who wants a pet, but I think both pages need to be beefed up a bit.
FDA in the News - Offers brief statements about different FDA news stories relevant to children

Overall, the information provided on the kids site is informative, but the FDA might invite a considerable amount of additional traffic if they invested in making the site "cool." It could use better graphics and a more interactive layout. I believe that an FDA kids site is important because the FDA is a key player in our child's health and well-being. In the meantime, allow your child to check out the current site, and encourage him/her to send feedback to the FDA's webmaster about the website. Kids know what they want in a web page; let their voice be heard.

Cold meds: Still no answer.

2008-10-04T19:35:00.005-04:00

The Food and Drug Administration is still not ready to ban cough and cold medicines for young children, according to a hearing on Thursday. Their biggest concern is that a ban on children's medication might result in parents giving adult medication to their children.

The head of the FDA's Office of New Drugs stated, "we do not want to do something that we think will have a positive impact, only to have an unintended negative. That could be an even worse situation." But many pediatricians are urging the FDA to take action as cold season is right around the corner.

The FDA did make a statement earlier this year warning against giving over-the-counter cold medicines to children younger than 2. Yet the agency is currently seeking more advice and research (particularly studies involving children) before making a finite decision on the children's medication. In general, the concern is not low doses of the medication but the risk from unintentional overdoses.

In the meantime, most doctors recommend rest and plenty of fluids to cure the common cold, even in children.

Read for the Record

2008-10-02T09:31:00.003-04:00

Today is Jumpstart's Read for the Record Day. The campaign is designed to "bring attention to the importance of early education." Jumpstart encourages children and adults to read the same book on the same day with a goal of making early education a priority while breaking a world record for the largest shared reading experience.

Today's Read for the Record book is Don Freeman's 1968 children's book, Corduroy. In addition to recruiting adults and children to read Corduroy, Jumpstart is also asking for donations in order to put books into the hands of at-risk preschool children.

Jumpstart works "toward the day every child in America enters school prepared to succeed." Jumpstart believes that every child has the potential to succeed academically, and with the involvement of a caring adult, children can reach their potential. Jumpstart brings together at-risk preschoolers and caring adults to build literacy skills.

Take a moment to read with a child today, and log your participation at Jumpstart's Read for the Record website.

Nutritional information and eating disorders

2008-09-30T08:49:00.009-04:00

I read this article yesterday, and I am still digesting it: Harvard removes calorie info, cites eating disorders. According to the article, Harvard University Dining Services removed the index cards detailing nutritional information from dining halls. Why? Because of concern that the information was contributing to an already serious issue affecting colleges and universities nationwide: eating disorders. A member of the Dining Services committee said, "Those individuals can place an undue emphasis on calories and other literal food values, making their placement over every food item a real challenge...we did what we felt best addressed the special health needs of those individuals."

Although Harvard will no longer display the nutritional information alongside the food, the information is still available on the Internet and in dining hall kiosks. Additionally, Dining Services will continue to promote healthy eating among students through forums and informational sessions.

I don't have statistics, but I imagine that the percentage of individuals suffering form eating disorders is relatively high at colleges and universities. I commend any institution that is cognizant of this and wants to do something about it. Nonetheless, it is hard for me to imagine that removing the nutritional information makes that much of a difference. Is it likely that someone suffering from anorexia nervosa is capable of acquiring that information regardless. In fact, an individual so obsessed with food (or the lack thereof) is likely to memorize the caloric value of foods as part of their ritual and survival (or lack thereof).

Then again, someone obsessed with food might see the caloric value of an apple and decide not to eat the apple whereas someone not suffering from an eating disorder would have no problem with that information.

I'm curious if Harvard is going to try and research the affects of removing the nutritional information. This is such an important issue, and I urge colleges and universities to follow Harvard's lead by looking into the ways that the institution is contributing to this serious health concern.

KaBoom!

2008-09-28T19:06:00.012-04:00

KaBoom! Have you heard of this organization? If not, I encourage you to familiarize yourself with them. KaBoom's tagline is "it's starts with a playground." Simple, sweet, and packed with much more than one might think.
The story of KaBoom began in 1995 when a young man, Darell Hammond, read a story about two children who suffocated while playing in a car because they didn’t have anywhere else to play. With a vision to provide every child in America access to a great place to play, Darrell started KaBoom, one playground at a time.

Now a nonprofit, KaBoom is in its thirteenth year of service having constructed over 1,300 playgrounds, skateparks, sports fields, and ice rinks across North America. KaBoom rallies "communities to achieve better public policy, funding and public awareness for increased play opportunities nationwide; provide resources, including trainings, challenge grants, and publications for communities that wish to plan a new playspace on their own; and bring together children, business and community interests for a select number of community playspace builds each year."

Making KaBoom especially unique is that each facility is designed by children and built by the communities (volunteers) who will use them. Nearly every aspect of the design and construction relies on the investment of the surrounding community. What a fun way to bring a community together!

In addition to building play spaces, KaBoom offers a PlaySpace Finder. The PlaySpace Finder is simply a map allowing the viewer to locate playgrounds in their area. Users can also add playgrounds, rate them, post pictures, and share comments.

And as if that wasn't enough, the KaBoom website is packed full of other exciting resources including: a list of do-it-yourself side projects (chessboard tabletop - how cool?!), community involvement and play advocacy trainings (making your build day green - who isn't a fan of the 3R's?), fundraising ideas (a flamingo hop? you know you want to know more!), and other exciting resources.

Many kudos to KaBoom's founder, Darrell Hammond, and the entire organization. Who doesn't love to play?

Standardized tests for college admissions

2008-09-28T13:41:00.012-04:00

A friend and colleague sent me this article about college admissions: Report Says Test Scores Should Be Less Important in College Admissions.

The article highlights a report commissioned by the National Association for College Admission Counseling (NACAC) that argues college admissions should rely less on a student's standardized test scores and more on a range of other standards including "exams that test students on their knowledge of high school curriculum subjects, such as the SAT subject tests, Advanced Placement exams, and the International Baccalaureate exams." The report has been commended by The National Center for Fair and Open Testing (FairTest), an organization that "works to end the misuses and flaws of standardized testing and to ensure that evaluation of students, teachers and schools is fair, open, valid and educationally beneficial." FairTest supports test-optional admissions criteria and the reform of No Child Left Behind.

One of the greatest factors in the controversy surrounding college admissions is socioeconomics. With the availability of expensive test-prep programs such as The Princeton Review, affluent students are scoring better than those students who cannot afford such programs. For example, Princeton Review's LiveOnline ACT Preparation Course costs over $900 - not an affordable price tag for most students.

Add the rise in tuition costs, and it is no wonder that so many students are struggling to go to college.

Interestingly enough, Harvard University, the creme de la creme of colleges in the nation, is working hard to break down these barriers. Just this year Harvard began the Harvard Financial Aid Initiative, a campaign to make a Harvard education more affordable. The initiative requires families with incomes between $120,000 and $180,000 to pay 10 percent of their income and the percentages decrease from there until reaching free tuition at $60,000. There is much debate about this initiative including Harvard's ENORMOUS endowment allowing the university to offer this program.

Harvard is also invested in the debate surrounding admissions criteria as the NACAC report commission included the Dean of Harvard Admissions. While Harvard has not indicated a change to its admissions process, the institution is invested in this concerning issue.

I don't know what the answer is to allowing equal opportunities to all young people regarding postsecondary education, but I support any effort to make college an option for all students regardless of their ability to afford it.

Preventing meltdowns

2008-09-26T08:43:00.003-04:00

In every aspect of his life, my son is a "good" baby. Since two months old he has slept through the night. Until very recently he has never been sick. Most of the day he is pleasant and happy. He was smiling before a month old and laughing not long after that. During his last doctor's visit he didn't even flinch when he received his shots. My husband and I say it often: "we are so blessed with this baby."

BUT with all that in our favor, there are still days that I think I am going to lose it. The occasional baby meltdown or the constant need for my attention is sometimes enough to make me wonder if I can handle being a mom. And I have a good baby. I cannot even imagine life with an overly-fussy or colicky baby. I have concluded that those parents are modern-day superheroes.

So when my mom sent me this article, 9 Ways to Prevent a Meltdown - Your Kid's and Yours, Too, I thought, "thank goodness, realistic meltdown techniques for both my son and me."

I enjoyed the nine tips because each one is appropriate for the child and the adult. Although many of the tips are best for children older than my son, all of the tips are perfect for the parent no matter how old the child.

Here are three of my favorites:

Take a Time-Out: Although my son is not old enough to be in time-out, I intend on using this behavior management technique often when he is older. I am a big fan of giving children space to cool-down, especially boys. Girls benefit from time-out as well, but sometimes girls want to talk about the situation. Boys tend to need space, and I want to provide that for my son. Additionally, I know the power of a time-out for me. When my son is SCREAMING for no apparent reason, sometimes I just have to walk away for a couple minutes so that I can soothe him calmly and carefully.
Tap into Your Creative Side: This isn't for everybody, but it is definitely for me. My creative outlets are my sanity. Without them I would certainly be a surly person. And encouraging children to be creative when they are hurting or upset is brilliant because there is no more creative time in a person's life than during childhood. Kids can dream up the greatest stories and ideas. Allowing your angry child to scribble or write in a journal is therapeutic. As a school counselor, I used this stress-management technique often with students.
Lighten Up: This one can be so hard because when I am stressed and the baby is crying, it is a challenge to relax and make light of the situation. But on the rare occasion that I am able to do that, the outcome is wonderful. My son loves songs, so if we are in the car and he starts to fuss, the sound of a favorite song is usually enough to calm him down. And parents must admit, while many childhood songs are goofy and maybe even annoying, they can be quite fun. My son's name is Henry so I have learned the words to "I'm Henry the VIII, I am." The lyrics are bizarre (about a widow and her 8 husbands all named Henry), but the song has the best catchy tune. I enjoy singing it, and my son smiles every time he hears it.

Unfortunately there are no rules to parenting, and each parent-child relationship is different. Hopefully you can find a trick or two or three that works for you and your child.

For richer or for poorer: Health care in the U.S.

2008-09-24T07:31:00.013-04:00

Grrrrraaaahhhhh!!!! That's what I think about health care in the United States. I get FIRED UP when I hear about children who were denied appropriate health care simply because of their socioeconomic status (SES).

According to a recent report by the U.S. Government Accountability Office, about 6.5 million children enrolled in Medicaid had untreated tooth decay in 2005 and were nearly twice as likely as children with private health insurance to have untreated tooth decay. According to a CNN.com article, "the report was ordered after widespread publicity of the case of Deamonte Driver, a 12-year-old boy boy who died last year in suburban Washington when an untreated infected tooth led to a brain infection." Driver "had extensive dental disease and his family was unable to find a dentist to treat him," the report said.
Does that fire up anyone else? A boy DIED because he couldn't get proper dental care???!!!

The report also states that 14.8 percent of Medicaid recipients said their children had not received necessary dental care because their dentist refused to accept Medicaid, which typically pays providers less than private insurers. Grrrraaaahhhhhh!!!!!!

When did health care become an institution of profit, profit, profit??? How can we allow young people (or any person) to suffer simply because they fall victim to a backwards system where money and profit are put before health and well-being. Oh, this makes me mad.

Yes, there are other factors to be considered. A family with low SES might have less available time to take their children to a dentist every 6 months. Individuals with low SES might also be less educated therefore they might not understand the importance of seeing a dentist on a regular basis. But anyone in their right mind knows that, in general, the poor are not receiving the same caliber of health care as the rich.

But ask yourself this question, does the child of a restaurant dishwasher deserve the same access to appropriate health care as the child of a medical surgeon?

Probably the greatest factor in all this is health insurance. It is no secret that insurance is a for-profit industry. But does for-profit have to mean crazy-outlandish-millions-and-billions-of-dollars kind of profit??? It makes me sick.

I realize that I am generalizing and pointing fingers at an industry that can be beneficial. My son, a perfectly healthy six-month old, has visited his pediatrician four times since coming home from the hospital, and we have not had to pay a penny out of pocket. I am thankful. But I also understand how fortunate my family is to have a great insurance plan through my husband's employer. I wonder if I would be as grateful if my son was not perfectly healthy and needed to see costly specialists and receive expensive treatments.

What about those parents who aren't as fortunate? What about those parents who have children enrolled in Medicaid and they are waiting hours in an overcrowded and understaffed urgent care just so their injured or sick son can see a physician's assistant?

Let's take a hard look at health care in this country. Let's think about how we can better the lives of not just our own children, but all children.

I urge you to consider what roll profit plays in life or death situations, and what could have been different to save the life of that young boy who merely had an infected tooth.

BPA: A threat?

2008-09-23T09:43:00.006-04:00

When we began registering for baby products one year ago, the research surrounding the effects of bisphenol A was beginning to make headline news. Because we had to buy bottles for our baby, we went with BPA-free brand BornFree simply because if we were going to buy new anyway, why not buy BPA-free "just to be safe." But like so many things that I have encountered during my motherhood journey, a mom can make herself crazy worrying about the effects of this plastic, and that paint, and these germs, and those vaccines. Between the controversies, the research, the opinions and the recalls, trying to be the best-mom-that-you-can-be is truly mind-boggling. At times I have tried to take the "we had lead-infested toys when we were kids and we survived" attitude, but it is nearly impossible to ignore all the WATCH-OUT! information inundating parents today.

Bisphenol A, a chemical found in many plastics, continues to receive attention because research has linked it to cancer and brain, reproductive, and immune problems especially when babies and young children are exposed. The research has also shown that this is especially true when plastics containing BPA are heated up. Because so many baby bottles are made of plastic, most bottle manufacturers now make bottles that are BPA-free.

Although we use BPA-free bottles, I have not been as careful with any of the other plastics used in our kitchen. In fact I recently attended a baby shower where the topic of BPA came up, and like a couple of the other moms there, I agreed that we are beginning to make ourselves BPA-free crazy (there were some who disagreed, stating that BPA-free plastics are essential to safe and healthy children).

But then today I stumbled across this online posting by health editor, Elizabeth Shaw. Shaw believes that products containing BPA should be banned completely from any product intended for use by a child 7-years-old and younger. In fact legislation supporting the ban has been introduced to Congress and is under further review.

Shaw's argument is supported by a recent Journal of the American Medical Association study that links the chemical to heart disease and diabetes. Unlike previous research, this study involved actual human beings, not animals.

Although I will continue to make BPA-free choices for my family when I can, I don't imagine that I'll become too-hyper about the issue just yet (though I would support the bill if it makes it through Congress). And for those of you struggling to do what's best in your household, I will pass on this link: Minimize Your Baby's Exposure to BPA. If you are like me, you do what you can when you can without freaking out about every little thing. It's a struggle to find a balance, and many kudos to those of you who have found that healthy medium.

The battle of the sexy

2008-09-21T20:08:00.016-04:00

Childhood development experts Diane E. Levin, Ph.D., and Jean Kilbourne, Ed.D., offer parents an essential guide to protecting their kids from a sexualized childhood, in their book, So Sexy So Soon. The authors address a monster attacking our children's innocence: the media. Not only is it our obsession with sex that is damaging our young people, but our media-rich culture is drowning our children in sex, sex, sex, and more sex.

The book offers the reader with suggestions, sample dialogues, stories, and resources for parents who want to address this sensitive topic with their children. Some of these tips can be found on the book's website. I have highlighted several and added my comments:

Work with your children to develop rules and routines about their TV watching and media use. Involving children in the decision-making process benefits them greatly. It teaches them how to make decisions and how to compromise, and it boosts their self-confidence as they experience a sense of investment in the decision made.
Get beyond just saying “no.” Yes, "no" is the easy answer, but think of what children gain when provided with an explanation and not just "because I said so."
Establish safe channels of communication with children & Be willing to listen, do not rush in with judgments or advice. Allow your [child] to voice their own opinions and make their own decisions. Is there anything quite as valuable to a child as being able to talk to his/her mom or dad without feeling judged or ashamed?
Try to take your child’s point of view and see the world through his or her eyes. We learn so much from young people when we understand their perspective.
Point out examples of males and females who are doing a broad range of activities, not just the limited range that children so often see in the media & Challenge assumptions about gender by asking your daughter to help repair something or asking your son to help cook and clean up. I am a firm supporter of breaking gender stereotypes. Let's embrace our children no matter what they want to do or be, and let's try to disrupt their desire to conform to the media's portrayal of what a man or woman should be and look like.
Work cooperatively with other adults & Model healthy intimate relationships. Our children learn so much by watching us. Help them to see positive and healthy relationships by modeling them in your life.
Get to know the parents of your [child's] friends. This helps gain perspective on your own parental experience, and fosters a feeling of safety to know where your [child] is and whom he/she is with & Get to know your [child's] friends. Allow them to feel comfortable spending time at your house by creating a [child]-friendly environment in which an adult can be present without hovering. This not only gives us a have a leg-up on what are children are doing, but it also provides us with a network of other adults who are working in the best interest of our children.
Do not allow computers and televisions in your [child's] bedroom. Have them use these items in a family or common room where you can occasionally glance at what they are watching on TV or websites they are visiting online. There is no good reason for a child to have access to these things in the privacy of their bedroom. Honestly, I cannot think of one good reason.
Share values and expectations with your teen. If you disapprove of your teen being sexually active, say so and give reasons why. Yes, these can be scary conversations, but these are exactly the kinds of conversations that we should be having with our children. We cannot assume that other people are talking to our children about sex in positive and productive ways. We are the parents - that is our job.
Encourage a broad range of interests and skills in your teen, and focus on compassion, kindness, perseverance, rather than how they look. This is a huge self-confidence builder. There is nothing more dangerous than a teen girl with low self-esteem mixed with a teen boy wanting to explore his sexual desires. If this girl doesn't feel good about herself, there is a great chance that she will succumb to the boy's desire in order to make herself feel loved and accepted.
Let your [child] know that conflict is inevitable in close relationships and teach ways to resolve conflict peacefully. Ahhh, conflict resolution. If we can teach children how to resolve conflicts peacefully, think of what a better world this would be.

Teen girls and sex: Whose to blame?

2008-09-20T13:34:00.011-04:00

A friend recently shared this article with me, The Truth About Teen Girls, released by Time.com. The article focuses on the presence of sex in the lives of teenage girls today. But unlike many recent publications, the article addresses the appearance of sexiness put on by many young women as opposed to the actual sexiness of these young women. In other words, are our teenage girls overtly sexual or do they just want to appear that way?

The article points out that since 1991, the rate of pregnancies among teen girls is trending downward. This doesn't mean that sex isn't a problem among our young women, but it does force researchers to approach this issue from different angles and perspectives. One report by the American Psychological Association (2007) suggests that are youngest adolescents are not experiencing sexiness when they dress sexy, rather they experience a desire to look older. In other words, a nine-year-old girl might see certain actresses dressing sexy and think, "I want to look like her because she is older than me and she is cool." So rather than slapping on a mini-skirt because it is "sexy," the young girl dresses provacatively because she thinks that it makes her look older and cooler.

Unfortunately, the sexy images portrayed in the media are about the only images that our young girls are seeing. With the exception of a few positive media campaigns such as Dove's Campaign for Real Beauty and Girls Inc., most of our young girls are digesting media images that hinder a girl's self-confidence.

Time's article highlights one suggestion made by Gigi Durham, author of The Lolita Effect: provide children as early as kindergarten with media-literacy classes to teach them how to dissect and understand the pervasive aspects of their environment. This is especially important because our children are raised in a "sex sells" culture. Imagine if our children were exposed to a media that wasn't trying to sell anything. And imagine what such media-literacy education could do for our girls by the time they are facing adolescence.

The article ends by challenging its readers to think about the not-so-pleasant reality that WE are at fault for this "sexual epidemic" and our children are merely the victims (like in Nabokov's book Lolita, Lolita was the victim). With child-pornography on the rise (and it's not the teens using it), adults are to blame for this sex-obsessed culture. We are the ones that freaked out when Miley Cyrus posed half-nude on a magazine cover, not our children. As the article points out, "when tweens see a picture of Cyrus with her back bare and her hair tousled, they don't see her as postcoital. That's an adult interpretation."

Maybe if we discovered how to contain our obsession with sex, we could stop the cycle of actual sexiness and perceived sexiness among our young people. Because let's face it, we can't expect our young girls to behave any differently if we continue to behave so much worse.

Dobson & Political Satire: A Dangerous Mix

2008-09-18T13:39:00.011-04:00

Although this story hit the press a few days ago, I am just now getting wind of it: Forum sells 'Obama Waffles' with racial stereotype. When I first heard about these waffles, sold in a box depicting a headdress-wearing Senator Obama and containing other possibly offensive material, I didn't think much of it because it is an election year. Political satire, no matter how off-color, is all part of the battle. But I later learned that these waffles were sold at a forum co-sponsored by Focus on the Family Action. Focus on the Family Action is the lobbying venue created by Dr. James Dobson who founded Focus on the Family, a Christian organization aimed at "redeeming families, communities and societies worldwide through Christ." Both organizations are extremely conservative and right-wing, and it is their right to fight for the causes that move them.

But I am struggling with the "Christian" aspect of these organizations (or organization since the two are so closely linked). If Dobson's mission is to redeem families, communities and societies, how is that achieved when he platforms discriminatory practices?

It is such a shame because Dobson has the opportunity to share with millions his views and resources on family-related issues such as parenting, childhood development, education and relationships. But I am utterly turned off by his indirect endorsement of this product...satire...or whatever you want to call it. Discrimination, racism and closed-mindedness has never brought together families, communities and societies. Usually those devices tear people apart.

The forum took place during the same weekend that Governor Palin was satirized on Saturday Night Live. Both satires are criticized for being off-color, but in my opinion political satire is part of the campaign. Satire can bring humor to these intense and often ugly campaign weeks. But let's leave satire and it's implications to the pros such as SNL. Dobson and his cronies have no business highlighting satire when it crosses a line that negates their entire mission. Last time I checked, SNL does not claim to bring together families, communities and societies. But Dobson does make that claim, and I wish he would understand that antics such as platformimg off-color humor turn people off from God and Christianity. It's such a disappointment because now, more than ever, our leaders and communities could benefit greatly from God and the fundamentals of Christianity.

Helicopter parenting ain't cheap.

2008-09-17T22:22:00.005-04:00

Last month I blogged about helicopter parents: parents who constantly hover over their children, ready to swoop in and monitor every choice their child(ren) makes. In that post I focused on the relationship between allowing children to make their own decisions and self-confidence. But today I read an article that brought up another issue related to helicopter parenting: socioeconomic status (SES).
The article, Parents: When to back off, when to step in, offers recommendations for parents from two child experts. Allow me to highlight a couple of their recommendations:

You elementary schooler calls you from school (you are at work) and tells you she forgot her costume for the dress rehearsal. The expert recommendation: "The first time find a housekeeper or neighbor to bring it over...but if she does this routinely, she needs to suffer consequences to learn from the experience."
Your adult child is struggling to stay afloat financially, and she has made multiple requests for help paying rent and utilities. The expert recommendation: "Pay the first month's rent with clear expectations...she needs to know that this is a loan."

While reading this I thought to myself, "how many parents in today's economy have the time, money and resources to provide for their children in these ways?" Honestly, how many of us have a housekeeper or neighbor available to run errands for our children? And how many of us can provide our financially-unstable adult-children with a loan without jeopardizing our own financial security?
I agree that for a first or maybe second offense, helping out our children is okay. But for so many people, this is not an option. For many folks, just getting their children to and from school is a struggle. There are single parents with multiple kids and working multiple jobs, and they are lucky to get home in time to tuck their children in bed. And when their children are old enough to take care of themselves, well, forget a loan. They might have three or four other children that they are still struggling to provide for.
Sure, you don't have to have money to be a helicopter parent, but it sure makes it easier. Next time you think about swooping in to "save the day," think about that single mom who is working her tail off just to get home in time for dinner and homework. What would she do? Sometimes it takes the smallest amount of time, money and resources for our children to learn the most valuable life lessons.
I should note: In terms of SES, there are many wonderful parents who struggle financially while making great sacrifices for the sake of their children. I applaud these parents. But I would be interested in seeing research to support my theory of helicopter parents and SES - As SES increases so does the number of helicopter parents, and as SES decreases so does the number of helicopter parents.

Kids Health

2008-09-16T08:24:00.005-04:00

KidsHealth.org is a great site for health-related questions regarding your child. I used this site often when I was counseling in schools because not only does it include information and resources regarding a child's physical health, but it also provides information regarding a child's emotional and mental health. Additionally, it is a safe site for your child to use. The site is broken into three areas: for kids, for teens, and for parents.

The site is by no means a substitute for seeing a doctor, but KidsHealth is a convenient place to start when you are faced with a medical-related question or dilemma. If you are wondering about the site's credibility, here is what I found:

"The KidsHealth team of top-notch editors and medical reviewers develops a wide array of topics about medical, emotional, and developmental issues of children and their families...Physicians and other health experts review all content before it's published on KidsHealth. All content is re-reviewed on a regular basis (about every 1 to 3 years, or more frequently if needed)."

Also, the site is advertisement free which is a breath-of-fresh-air when I am trying to sift through ad-filled pages for a bit of relevant information.

I encourage anyone to check out KidsHealth.org. It might be exactly what you are looking for when you have a question about your child's health.

Attention All Moms: Vote!

2008-09-15T12:32:00.007-04:00

The October 2008 issue of Parents magazine includes an excerpt from the book The Maternal is Political edited by Shari MacDonald Strong. The Maternal is Political features stories by women who are striving to make the world a better place for children and families.

Strong highlights the importance of voting to make this world a better, safer place for our children. She states, "I'll back any politician, any bill or measure that I believe to be in the best interest of children. My kids. Iraqi kids. Sudanese kids. Your kids...If we truly want to leave our children a world that's worth living in, we moms are going to have to fix it ourselves." She claims to be a part of the "Mothering Party," - recognizing, celebrating, and seizing the power inherent in mothering.

Her thoughts and ideas are inspiring and empowering, and I hope to read more from her book and her blog.

Unfortunately, I was less inspired by Parents magazine's What Do Women Want survey. Published alongside the excerpt from Strong's book, the survey asked women which issues they most want to see on a presidential candidate's 2008 agenda. The survey was commissioned by the Meredith Corporation and NBC, and of the top five priorities, not one included education. Either the survey did a lousy job of asking women where education falls on their list of priorities OR the women surveyed care more about immigration and social security than the future of our young people. Sure, immigration and social security are important issues, but I was disappointed not to see education on that list. It's no secret that the educational system in America needs reform, and I encourage everyone to review the candidate's educational policies before making their decision this fall. To help you with this decision, here are link's to information on the candidates' stances on education: McCain, Obama.

Let's get informed and get voting!

Swimming with autism

2008-09-12T15:22:00.007-04:00

I just cannot get enough of this story: a young man, living with autism, and his father survive being stranded at sea for over 12 hours. This young man is absolutely inspiring. I read this article today, and according to the young man's father, Christopher loves water. His love for swimming and the feeling of comfort that he receives from being in the water just might be what saved his life. It is absolutely amazing that this young man and his father survived. But it is also amazing that for much of the ordeal, Christopher expressed amusement; in his mind, he was on a swimming adventure. In fact, Christopher has been back in water since the "adventure." I am truly inspired.

Autism and Inspiration

2008-09-10T20:02:00.005-04:00

I don't have a child living with autism, but I imagine that if I did, I would battle moments of "why me" or "why my son." I don't know why some children must endure this adversity, but the following story of a child living with autism inspired me greatly.

A man and his son were swept out to sea off the coast of Florida, and they were forced to tread water for over 12 hours before they were rescued. The boy, 12-years old, is living with autism. When the man was asked how he survived the ordeal, he said that it was his son's attitude that encouraged him. Although the boy is nonverbal, he often responded to his dad's calling, "To infinity" by pumping his fist in the air. The boy has an affinity for Disney movies, and "To infinity and beyond" is a phrase from Toy Story. Additionally, the young boy appeared to be amused at times by their "adventure" in the ocean.

This story makes me believe that God has a greater plan for this young man. Although autism makes living in our world difficult and overwhelming, the boy's father managed to embrace his son's world which inspired them both to survive.

To see the family's interview on the Today show, check out this link. It is lengthy, but I guarantee you will be inspired by this young man.

This is also a great plug for swimming lessons. The boy's father stated that his son is a strong swimmer and because of that his son managed to successfully tread water through the night. A child is never too young to establish a healthy and positive relationship with water. As soon as you can enroll your child in swimming lessons, I strongly encourage you to do so. Our local recreation center offers water exposure classes for children as early as 3 months old!

Not funny

2008-09-09T22:34:00.005-04:00

Sunday night on the MTV Video Music Awards, a British celebrity made several jokes about a group of young men and their choice to remain abstinent before marriage. I don't have a lot to say about this because, quite frankly, I think most people would agree that a young person should be commended for their choice to remain pure. Making fun of a group of young men for such a commendable decision demonstrates a lack of intelligence. Honestly, this guy thinks that making fun of kids' virginity is funny? Then again, maybe I shouldn't be surprised at all. This was on MTV, after all. Don't get me wrong. I am part of the MTV generation, and believe it or not, MTV has done a lot to educate young people on sexual health. But they are known for crossing the line. It's just a shame because it wasn't so much that a line was crossed but that an obviously ignorant man was given a platform to showcase his idiocy.

Let's read!

2008-09-08T22:07:00.005-04:00

I love friends, and I especially love when they share something great. A fab friend of mine recently shared with me Wondertime, a Disney Family magazine and website. Wondertime celebrates a child's love for learning, and that is right up my alley!

Although I haven't checked out the magazine, I recently spent some time browsing the website. Creative Parenting is one of the site's many categories. I love this topic because I believe that effective parenting is creative parenting. Kids are ever-evolving creatures, and in order to keep up with them, we have to be experimental, innovative and resourceful.

Although my son is only 5 months old, I read this Creative Parenting article with excitement, 5 big ways to help kids love books. My undergraduate degree is in English, and reading is my favorite hobby. I don't imagine that I'll ever push a sport or career onto any of my children, but I fear that I am going to force books down my kids throats to the point that they are burning them by the time they flee the nest. I just want my children to love books (and magazines and blogs and reading, reading, reading) as much as I do. So this creative parenting tip excited me to no end.

My two favorite tips are numbers 3 & 4: Write a book of your own & Find out what else the library offers.

One of my fondest childhood memories is of the publishing center at my elementary school. My school converted an oversized closet into a mini-publishing workshop. It included all the materials necessary for covering and binding a homemade book. I remember feeling so confident as I left the publishing center with my newly bound book in tow. And when I think back, "publishing" my book was so simple and easy. What a great way to encourage a child's creative spirit and self-confidence.

The public library is another one of my favorite childhood memories. Today when I walk into our local library, the smell alone takes me to a place of storytime daydreams. How splendid! I decided to check out the offerings of our local library, and I was pleasantly surprised. Once a week they offer Baby Laptime for babies and their guardians. It's simply a 20-30 minute session of singing songs and discovering age-appropriate books, and it is completely free. I'll attend the first session next week, and I couldn't be more enthusiastic about exposing my little man to the library at such a young age. Not to mention, the library is one of the most fantastic places on and for the earth - it is recycling and education at its finest - I'm in heaven!

Many hugs to my dear friend who shared this wonderful magazine and website with me. I hope you all find it as delightful as I do.

Talking to our girls about their "girls"

2008-09-07T21:40:00.005-04:00

There's a new book on the shelves, and I'm quite excited about it. Taking Care of Your "Girls" is a tell-all, breast health guide for teens and tweens. Written by a breast oncologist and her daughter, the book is complimented by a fantastic website full of resources and additional information about the book. I love the book's concept because it addresses the MANY embarrassing and scary questions that every girl has about her chest as she approaches and endures puberty. Providing our young people with the facts about "boobdom" is crucial in helping them to make safe and confident choices about their own breast health.

And not just for the young crowd, Taking Care of Your "Girls" offers women of all ages essential and dependable information for talking with our young people about breast health. I am such a fan of this because I am a firm supporter of education and communication. When we confront touchy subjects with our children, we provide them with a safe place to go when they have questions about their uncertainties and fears. I would much rather that my daughter ask me about her changing body than an uninformed friend or no one at all. I encourage young and old(er) women everywhere to check out this book and begin having honest conversations about breast health and development.

Healthy schools

2008-09-06T14:45:00.005-04:00

While reading the latest issue of Kiwi Magazine, I read about this website: MyHealthySchool.com. The website provides teachers, administrators and parents with ideas and resources for creating greener, healthier, and more socially responsible schools.

While there are plenty of available resources surrounding nutrition and organic eating in schools, MyHealthySchools.com not only addresses school food but also school supplies, lesson plans, school grounds and gardens, field trips, parent involvement, assemblies and more.

One might think that the ideas and resources available on the website are common sense, but for whatever unfortunate reason, there are hundreds of schools failing to make green choices.

For instance, just last year I worked at an elementary school. On a daily basis, I witnessed an unimaginable amount of waste accumulation. During lunch alone, students filled multiple 50-gallon trash cans with styrofoam trays, plastic bottles, uneaten food, paper bags and aluminum wrappers. In the classrooms, pounds of paper and toxic craft materials were disposed into trash cans. When I asked why non-paper recycling was not offered in the cafeteria, I was told that the city was charging the schools over $100 per recycling receptacle. That's ludicrous! This school did offer recycling bins for paper only, although many classrooms were not utilizing them.

But with the support of educators, administrators, parents and students, schools can easily become environmentally-friendly institutions. Not to mention, a green school is more economically efficient. Think of all the money saved if we stopped buying disposable packaging for our children's lunches and if we taught our children how to utilize scrap paper.

And by investing in green schools we are also reducing the risk for children and educators to suffer in pollutant and toxic educational environments (see Going green to save our children).

Finally, children who are fortunate enough to attend a school that makes the environment a priority are likely to learn how to make choices that enrich their environment, their community and their own life.

Young people and mental illness

2008-09-05T08:17:00.002-04:00

One of the most frustrating things about mental illness is stigma. Too often I encounter individuals who are ashamed or scared to talk about their mental health problems.

But much like physical illness, mental illness can happen to anybody. And anyone suffering from a mental illness deserves the same support and medical attention as someone suffering from a physical illness.

This is especially true for young people. According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), the prevalence of serious mental health conditions in people between the ages 18 and 25 is almost double that of the general population. Yet young people have the lowest rate of help-seeking behaviors. SAMHSA believes that young people have a great chance to minimize future disability if social acceptance is broadened and they receive the right support and services early on. SAMHSA has launched the Mental Health Campaign for Mental Health Recovery: What a Difference a Friend Makes to encourage, educate, and inspire people between 18 and 25 to support their friends who are experiencing mental health problems.

SAMHSA states, "the opportunity for recovery is more likely in a society of acceptance, and this initiative is meant to inspire young people to serve as the mental health vanguard, motivating a societal change toward acceptance and decreasing the negative attitudes that surround mental illness. Mental health recovery is a journey of healing and transformation, enabling a person with a mental health problem to live a meaningful life in a community of his or her choice while striving to achieve his or her full potential."
I believe full-heartedly in this mission. If we can love and support our young people who struggle with mental illness, we might enable an entire generation to live brighter and fuller lives.

I commend SAMHSA on this initiative, and I encourage anyone who knows a young person suffering from mental illness to offer them your unconditional encouragement and support.

So cute

2008-09-03T22:42:00.007-04:00

Okay, I should probably devote this post to something academic or insightful, but I just witnessed the cutest scenario on T.V. I am watching the Republican National Convention, and Sarah Palin is speaking. The crew keeps zooming in on her family, and her youngest daughter, Piper, is holding Sarah's youngest son, Trig. Piper is seven, I think, and Trig is her newborn. Both Piper and Trig are adorable, but it gets cuter. Piper started combing and flattening her brother's hair with the palm of her hand. Then she took the palm of her hand, brought it up to her mouth, licked her hand, and then went back to grooming her brother's hair with her wet palm. Both my husband and I just started laughing out loud. It was so darling.

Kids just crack me up.

Vaccinations update

2008-09-03T22:05:00.004-04:00

A study reported today in the Public Library of Science evidenced support that the measles, mumps and rubella vaccine (MMR vaccine) is not linked to autism. This new research offers the strongest evidence yet on the MMR vaccine and autism controversy.

The National Autism Association released a statement questioning the study's design and methodology.

I merely post this information because it expands on a previous post which sparked some discussion.

Helping children cope with trauma

2008-09-02T17:32:00.005-04:00

Once again our nation is suffering from damage and loss caused by a hurricane. For many of us, we are too far away to adequately assist those individuals directly affected by Hurricane Gustav. For many of us, all we can do is pray that God provides the victims with comfort, peace, strength and security.

But there are individuals who can directly help the victims, and if you are one of those individuals, I encourage you to do what you believe that you are called to do. I am especially hopeful that the young victims of this tragedy are supported during this difficult time.

Because of the magnitude of this event, many children will need appropriate emotional supports to help them survive the trauma caused by the hurricane. I encourage parents and community members to review the following information regarding children and disasters:

Both of these links are from the National Institute of Mental Health, and both provide a wealth of information and resources.

My thoughts and prayers are with all of the individuals affected by Hurricane Gustav.

Casey Life Skills

2008-08-31T07:56:00.006-04:00

A friend of mine is a Youth Re-entry Specialist. She works with youth who are in a correctional facility or children who were recently released from one. She works to help reintegrate the youth back into society. Her job is extremely challenging and stressful, but her job is arguably one of the most important jobs anyone could have (if you talked to her, she wouldn't even refer to it as a job - she has found her calling, and helping these kids is her passion - she rocks!).

Because she works with a large caseload (roughly 40 children at a time), and because she is responsible for creating individual re-entry plans for each child, she recently underwent training to become an Ansel Casey Life Skills Trainer.

Casey Life Skills is a free resource that incorporates tools and assessments to help prepare young people for adulthood. The website offers several assessments for children and their caretakers, and each assessment provides instant feedback.

Most of the assessments are relevant for children eight-years-old and older so I have not been able to utilize them for my son (5 months old). But I am excited about this website because the resources are FREE, professional, individualized, effective and user friendly. I have only started exploring the website, but thus far I am thoroughly impressed.

And I should note, these resources are appropriate for ANY child. Just because a re-entry specialist is using these resources doesn't mean that these resources are only suitable for at-risk youth. I would encourage any child caretaker to check out the website and utilize the tools, assessments and resources on an ongoing basis.

And thanks for sharing this information with me, Alyssa - those kids are so blessed to have you on their side.

History in the making

2008-08-29T17:53:00.005-04:00

Yesterday Senator McCain announced his running mate for the November election. He chose Governor Sarah Palin of Alaska. I am thoroughly excited because no matter who wins this election, history will be made. By no means should people vote for Obama just because he is black or vote for McCain just because his running mate is a woman, but it makes me proud to know that no matter who is elected, the 44th President or Vice President of the United States will be a first for our country.

I am especially proud because this will be my first election as a mother. I am excited to raise my children in a different era than that in which I was raised. I grew up only seeing one kind of leadership in the White House - two white men. My children will see diversity. No, this doesn't mean that every future P and VP will involve a candidate who is also a minority, but this November will be a great start!

Protecting our children from cyberbullying

2008-08-28T07:04:00.006-04:00

When I worked as a School Counselor, I regularly delivered a lesson to students and staff regarding the newest culprit endangering our young people: cyberbullying. Cyberbullying is when a child is negatively targeted by another child using technology. It can come in the form of harassment, threats, or humiliation through electronic mediums including text messaging, social networking sites, or email.

Recently, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention featured information on this growing issue. The feature refers to electronic aggression, a broader term encompassing all types of violence that occurs electronically (electronic aggression is only bullying when the act is repeated).

As the CDC points out, the use of technology has many benefits for young people. I have worked with many children who were normally shy and reserved, but they made social connections via MySpace. Unfortunately, I have also worked with many young people who were devastated and depressed because something embarrassing was posted about them on MySpace.

Many people who know me know that I have never had a MySpace or Facebook account. I have had to put out way too many fires related to the social networking sites, and I just cannot bring myself to join. By no means are the sites the problem. In fact, I often peruse my sister's site to read updates posted by mutual friends. And I carry a cell phone even though I encountered many situations when a child harassed another child over the phone or via text message.

In fact, cyberbullying is just another example of why we need to be all-up-in our child's business. Technology has allowed our children access to individuals all around the world, but what's frightening is that individuals all around the world now have access to our children.

Fortunately it is not hard to monitor a child's electronic communication. I suggest making if very clear to your child(ren) that they should not use technology if it means that they are doing something that they would not do in your presence. If my child had a MySpace or Facebook account, you better believe that I would be checking his/her page regularly. And quite frankly, up to a certain age, there is absolutely no need for a child to have text messaging privileges on a cell phone.

But more importantly, we simply need to make our presence known in a child's life. I cringe when I hear about children who have a computer in their bedroom. What is the point of that? The computer should be located so that the parent is able to pop in and see what the child is doing at any given time. That is a teacher's greatest classroom management skill - his/her presence.

And by being present in their lives, we offer our children the structure, support and protection that they need to have healthy and successful childhoods.

Secondhand smoke and children

2008-08-26T20:57:00.010-04:00

Poked & Prodded recently posted this commentary, Should smoking around kids be illegal? In my ideal world, smoking would be illegal - period. So should smoking around kids be illegal - definitely! But is that going to happen? I don't think so.

Unfortunately we have selfish parents who smoke in the presence of children, and here is why this is so troubling. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported that the effects of secondhand smoke (SHS) are down, and this most likely is in part to the smoking bans in public places. Good news, right? Well, sort-of. While the effects of SHS are down, they are down very little in children. As the CDC reported, “The primary source of SHS exposure for children is the home; therefore, eliminating smoking in workplaces and public places is less likely to reduce children’s exposure to SHS.” Poked & Prodded put it best, "Ironically, laws designed to protect nonsmokers against involuntary exposure to SHS don’t extend to the most vulnerable. It’s even possible that cigarettes not smoked in restaurants and bars are smoked at home—around kids."

Yikes! This is not good. Of course I do not suggest that we reverse the smoking bans, but what can we do? How do we protect our children from SHS?

As a School Counselor, I always enjoyed educating elementary school students on the effects of smoking. Their reactions were equally impassioned and innocent. I used to show an enlarged picture of a cigarette, and pictured around the cigarette were various chemicals that were found in a cigarette. I would then talk about these different chemicals. For example, methane is one chemical found in a cigarette. I would say, "methane gas is also found in sewers where our toilet waste ends up." The kids thought this was so repulsive that many of them would hold their mouths as if they were going to puke. One six-year-old said, "that is the most ridiculous thing that I have ever heard - toilet waste in a cigarette? Disgusting!" And that's the great thing about kids. They have no problem going home and telling their mom or dad or aunt or grandpa that what they are doing is disgusting and gross.

But I also understand how very difficult it is to stop smoking. That is why I am such a believer in educating our children from a very young age, because once someone starts smoking, it is extremely difficult to stop. I do not support abstinence education. I have yet to find quality and unbiased research that supports abstinence education. Rather I believe in education and information. The truth sticks with a person a lot longer than a "just say no" campaign. If "just say no" worked, then my generation, the "just say no" generation, would be free of smoking addictions, alcoholism and premarital pregnancy, and well, my generation is FULL of those things.

I have a few parent-friends who smoke. They are really amazing people who happen to have an addiction. I appreciate them so much because I have never seen any of them smoke in front of their kids. They always go outside or into the garage when they need a cigarette. Sure, their kids know that when mommy goes outside she is going outside to smoke, but at least my friends are trying to protect their kids. And equally important, my friends don't want to be smokers. Like so many, they have tried and tried to quit, and unfortunately, nothing has worked - yet. Maybe one day their kids will come home from school and say, "did you know that a cigarette has toilet waste in it?" And that will be the last cigarette they ever smoke.

A mother's role in the White House

2008-08-26T09:56:00.006-04:00

Last night I listened to Michelle Obama as she spoke at the Democratic National Convention in Denver, Colorado. While her political agenda was transparent, I was touched by the emphasis that she placed on her role as a mother.

Malia and Sasha, the Obama girls, have hardly been absent from the spotlight during the campaign thus far. And though some might view their presence as a political move just as Michelle Obama's words last night were overtly political, I believe that the girls involvement in the campaign is a result of their parents' involvement in their lives.

This is important to me because I believe that our next president must make decisions that protect our children, creating a safe environment for them in which to be raised. Having a mother's presence in the White House helps to assure me that our children will be in good hands.

I look forward to the Republican National Convention next week. I am eager to hear Cindy McCain, a mother of four, and I wonder whether or not she will emphasize her role as a mother as Michelle Obama did during her speech. I can only imagine that like Michelle Obama, Cindy McCain's family is her first priority.

Vaccinations - no win situation

2008-08-24T18:45:00.005-04:00

Childhood vaccinations - I have avoided blogging about this topic, but it is a hard one to avoid. I am constantly aware of the controversy surrounding childhood vaccinations and the possible links to autism. It's a tough issue because, as a parent, we do not want to make any decisions that might lead to our child(ren) suffering.

Let's start with the facts: 1) The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children receive roughly twenty immunizations by their first birthday, 2) There is no known cause of autism, 3) The rate of autism in children is on the rise (roughly 1 in 150 children have an autism spectrum disorder - that ratio is higher in boys), and 4) According to a recent study by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, measles cases in the U.S. are at the highest level in more than a decade, with nearly half of those involving children whose parents rejected vaccination.

This is such a perplexing issue because instead of concrete facts, there is a lot of "speculation" and "recommendation." Sure, we know that immunizations protect our children from deadly diseases, but are we causing them harm by protecting them? Unfortunately, we do not know for sure. It is a big deal when the AAP recommends that children are vaccinated, but as a mother, it is so difficult to trust that recommendation 100% knowing that 1) autism is on the rise, 2) we don't know what causes autism, and 3) there are parents and researchers who swear up-and-down that vaccinations are linked to autism.

As for my family, we found a common ground. Beginning at our son's two month appointment, we only allowed him two immunizations at a time. We spread out his shots over the course of two weeks (most children receive 4-5 immunizations at their 2-month appointment). This schedule allowed us to monitor his reaction (if any) to each vaccine. We also had a hard time understanding how our little 8-lb. baby could handle FIVE immunizations at one time. Giving them to him over a couple of weeks gave us some peace of mind.

But that was our decision, and each parent is different. We all have our intuition and our instincts, and I believe that we should follow those God-given instincts. I am fortunate; my son has handled the vaccines well. We continue to only allow him two shots at a time - that is what works for us. I empathize with all you parents who struggle with this issue. It is a no win situation - the cost of protecting our children just might be the exact thing that harms them. Hopefully someday we will know for sure.

Going green to save our children

2008-08-23T16:39:00.006-04:00

I recently read an article highlighting the Love Canal, a Niagara Falls neighborhood built atop tons of chemical waste. While reading this article, I became quite upset for two reasons: 1) We still have children attending schools near or on toxic waste, and 2) The toxic waste could have been prevented if only we had been taking better care of our environment.

Fortunately, we can prevent future schools from being built atop chemical landfills. Thanks to a nationwide awareness of environmentally safe(r) products and choices, we have access to many items and ideas that contribute to a green lifestyle.

I absolutely believe that children should not be spending 35+ hours a week on top of chemical waste - that is irresponsible and possibly deadly for the children and school personnel. But ideally, the chemical waste would not be there to begin with. Of course, that is best-case-scenario, but reducing our carbon footprint should be a priority. Does it enrage anyone else that we have children literally seizing because they are exposed to such pollution every single day???

Being green isn't hard, but I recognize that it isn't easy either. I only ask that you think about one or two ways that you can make eco-friendly choices - it just might save our next generation of young people.

Coping skills and empathy

2008-08-22T06:48:00.013-04:00

The recent shooting in a Knoxville, Tennessee high school is another reminder that many of our young people are deeply struggling in their adolescence. While this shooting is being classified as an isolated incident against one individual and not as a "school shooting" targeting an entire school, I believe that our school professionals need to evaluate their non-academic curriculums in order to better address the social and emotional needs of our students.

Before I go any further, I understand that our school professionals are stretched and exhausted. The job of a teacher or principal or school counselor is taxing. While working with youth is arguably the most rewarding work, it can leave the school professional needing extensive social and emotional support. But that does not mean that we should continue doing what we are doing just because that is what has been done before.

According to the American School Counselor Association, it is the role of a school counselor to "help all students in the areas of academic achievement, personal/social development and career development, ensuring today's students become the productive, well-adjusted adults of tomorrow." An overwhelming task , yes, but a competent school counselor is surely capable.

For starters, I suggest that schools incorporate empathy education into their curriculum if they are not already doing so. In fact, I think that it is necessary that students receive ongoing training in empathy. The ability to understand another's emotions allows young people to stop and think, "how would I feel if that were happening to me?"

I recognize that this is a difficult undertaking. With the pressure for schools to excel on standardized test scores, teachers are reluctant to set aside classroom time for non-academic lessons. But we absolutely cannot afford to have our young people killing each other because they do not know how to handle conflict. Which brings me to another suggestion. I also believe that our youth need to learn better coping skills. Again, if we can help our children to appropriately resolve their social and emotional issues, we can guarantee safer and more nurturing educational environments.

If you are a school professional or your child is school-age, I encourage you to find out what the school is doing to teach empathy and coping skills. If you are not satisfied with the response, I urge you to challenge the appropriate school personnel to take another look at these important lessons. It just might save a child's life.

An uncle's commitment to education

2008-08-20T09:47:00.003-04:00

I read this commentary by Roland S. Martin, Don't whine, get involved in kids' education, and I thought, "how awesome is this man?!" Martin, married seven years with no children, recently encouraged his sister to send him her four kids for an undisclosed amount of time. Martin's sister is dealing with marital struggles, and the family unit is suffering greatly. As a consequence, two of Martin's four nieces (only two are school age) are struggling academically. As godfather and uncle to these children, Martin decided that he was not going to let these young ladies fall behind anymore. Instead, he decided to invest his own (and his wife's) time, energy and resources into the academic success of his nieces.

Wow - that is amazing! It really made me think about my commitment to the young people in my life. Am I willing to take on something that great in order to see them succeed? I hope so.

All my thoughts and prayers are with Martin, his sister and those very-much-loved girls.

*Please don't misinterpret this post. I absolutely believe that what Martin's sister is doing is equally powerful. She is willing to let her brother help out in a time of great need. In doing so, she is behaving in a way that communicates her love for her family. So many times we judge parents because they seek assistance, but I believe that what she is doing is an act of courage and love.

Drinking age controversy

2008-08-19T16:36:00.010-04:00

The drinking age controversy is headline news as several leaders of higher education have joined together to support the Amethyst Initiative (please see College chiefs urge new debate on drinking age). The initiative supports an informed debate on the legal drinking age of 21-years-old. The reason for debate surrounding the drinking age is that some believe that the current laws encourage dangerous binge drinking. By lowering the drinking age to 18, some believe that young people would abuse alcohol less because it wouldn't be forbidden to drink it at 18-years-old. Research currently suggests that the highest rates of binge drinking on college campuses are found in underage students*. There are two schools of thought surrounding that fact. Some argue that lowering the drinking age will diminish those years of binge drinking. Others believe that lowering the drinking age would encourage higher rates of binge drinking amongst even younger adolescence.

There is a TON of research surrounding college and underage drinking. In fact, my graduate school tuition was paid by the university (The Ohio State University) because I worked with researchers to combat alcohol abuse on our campus. Because I was very much invested in bettering my school's alcohol culture, I was offended by a remark made by Laura Dean-Mooney, national president of Mothers Against Drunk Driving. Gordon E. Gee, the president of my alma mater, is a supporter of the Amethyst Initiative. Dean-Mooney, an opposer of the initiative, stated, "it's very clear the 21-year-old drinking age will not be enforced at those campuses." However wrong she is! OSU faculty and staff work their butts off to reduce alcohol related concerns on campus. Over the last few years, they have implemented a comprehensive prevention plan that incorporates suggestions recommended by the National Institute of Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism to reduce alcohol and other drug abuse on campus, and their efforts are working (not to mention, the plan includes enforcement of the current drinking age)! For more information on this plan and its success, please visit OSU's Student Wellness Center's website.

I am torn on the drinking age debate, but if we are going to move forward on this issue, people need to get their facts straight! Whether or not the drinking age is the main problem, colleges and universities such as OSU are spending millions of dollars to reduce alcohol abuse on their campuses - and many of them are succeeding! Just because the president of the university encourages a discussion regarding the legal drinking age does not mean that the entire campus is going to stop enforcing the current law. That is ludicrous. And if MADD wants to maintain credibility, it is in their best interest to respect the progress being made on campuses nationwide.

*Naimi TS, Brewer RD, Mokdad A, Clark D, Serdula MK, Marks JS. Binge drinking among US adults. JAMA 2003;289(1):70–75.

Documentary is a must see

2008-08-17T09:07:00.009-04:00

While I have only seen the preview, I am eager to see America the Beautiful, a documentary that explores the question, "Does America have an unhealthy obsession with beauty?" Without even seeing the documentary, I think that I can answer the question: YES! America does have a VERY UNHEALTHY OBSESSION with beauty.

This documentary surfaced as I was doing some research about superficiality in America. This topic has been on my mind since I learned of the Chinese girl who was deemed not cute enough to sing during the opening ceremony in Beijing (see post Raising confident girls). Recently I was discussing this issue with family members, and my cousin said, "how can we judge [the Chinese culture] when we send the same messages to our young girls?" I believe that my cousin is right, but I also believe that there are many people in America trying to counteract those damaging messages.

In the preview for America the Beautiful, a girl is remarking about her weight. I assume that she is in the modeling business because she says, "I am 6" tall, I weigh 130lbs, but I have already been told that I have to lose 15lbs." She then says, "if you're going to worry about your health then go to college." Astonishing - that in 2008 we have a young woman who recognizes that "too skinny" is unhealthy but she still desires "too skinny." Furthermore, she opts for "too skinny" and unhealthy instead of education. Cliche as this may sound...what is this world coming to? Be afraid, people, be very afraid!

I think that a documentary such as this one is a step in the right direction. When we are made aware of an issue, we cannot use the excuse, "I didn't know." Awareness is the first step in making a change.

I hope that I am able to see this documentary. It is not scheduled to show in Ohio where I live, but I have emailed the director urging him to show the film here. Eventually it will be in video stores; I will see it then at the latest.

Let's hope that this documentary brings a greater awareness to this issue so that we can make steps, even if they are small steps, towards changing the way we, as a society, obsess, or don't obsess, about beauty.

Shaken baby syndrome: Unnecessary devastation

2008-08-15T21:42:00.006-04:00

I read this devastating story on CNN.com/health: New Year's baby's death shatters family, relationships. A 12 week old baby, born New Year's day, died of shaken baby syndrome. The article describes a horribly sad situation, and my heart is broken for this young family. All that I can think about is how easily this baby's life could have been saved.

As a mother of a young child, I know what it is like to feel helpless as your baby cries and screams. Babies cry as a way to communicate with us, but it is still frustrating and difficult to listen to your child wail. To the best of my knowledge, no baby has ever died of crying. Yes, we need to attend to our babies when they are upset, but if you find yourself becoming inpatient and frustrated, it is in everyone's best interest that you put the baby down and walk away. Sometimes that is all it takes - a few minutes to collect yourself so that you can appropriately handle your crying baby. There is absolutely no reason that you should handle a baby (or a child, for that matter) if you are angry or aggravated. Please, please, please, give yourself time to breath and calm down before handling a crying baby. Shaken baby syndrome is irreversible and often unrecognizable at first. There is absolutely no reason that any baby should die simply because he/she was crying.

Autism and College

2008-08-14T08:50:00.009-04:00

I was so excited to see this article on CNN.com/health: Living with autism in college. As more and more young people are diagnosed with autism everyday, and as more and more people discuss the controversy surrounding the cause(s) of autism, I was delighted to read an article highlighting successful young people who happen to be dealing with autism. *Autism is a spectrum disorder, and those diagnosed with the disorder can experience a range of symptoms from mild symptoms relating to their social development to severe impairments related to speech and language.

The article not only highlights individuals with autism who are attending college, but it also features colleges and universities that are accommodating individuals with the disorder.

This is so refreshing because as our society becomes more and more aware of diversity in terms of ethnic background, gender, sexual preference and more, I believe that it is equally important that attention is given to diversity based on ability. For decades, colleges and universities have been making accommodations for individuals with physical challenges, and it is equally necessary that they also accommodate individuals who face less visible challenges.

Many kudos to those schools that support students who deal with this disorder, and many more kudos to those students who refuse to let this disorder hold them back from success.

*I recognize that there are many young people with autism who will never be able to attend college because of the severity of their impairments. By no means are those young people any less successful than a child who is able to attend college. God does not give us more than we can handle, and individuals living with autism accomplish little and big successes everyday.

Raising confident girls

2008-08-12T20:32:00.007-04:00

While I don't have a girl, I can only imagine how difficult it is to raise a girl in our society. The pressures on our girls are great, especially the pressure for our girls to look a certain way. I am convinced that it is impossible to raise a girl in our country who never struggles with her self-image at some point in her life.

But as scary as it is to raise a girl in our country, I am thankful that I am not raising a girl in China. Today we learned that the young girl who sang during the opening ceremony of the Beijing Olympics was actually lip-syncing (http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/asiapcf/08/12/oly.kids/index.html). Why? Because the actual singer, a seven-year-old Chinese girl, was deemed too ugly to be broadcast across the world. I am so sad for this little girl. Can you even imagine telling a child, "we only want to use you for your voice because you are not cute enough to be seen?"

By no means is the United States doing a much better job with the messages that we send our young girls. But I at least know that we want to do better. For instance, I LOVE what Dove is doing through their Campaign for Real Beauty. They are working to free the next generation from beauty stereotypes, and I pray that they are successful - for the sake of all of our girls.

Kid-sick, Helicopter parents, and Parent-ectomy

2008-08-11T12:20:00.019-04:00

While perusing CNN.com/health, one caption caught my attention: Parents get kid-sick with children at camp. While I do not have any children old enough to attend camp, I read the article with my son (4 months old) in mind. Both my husband and I enjoy the outdoors, and we cannot wait for our son to discover the wonders of life through digging in the dirt, climbing trees and attending summer camp if he so chooses.

The article addresses a condition termed "kid-sickness." It refers to a parent's struggle to let his/her child go and be away from him/her for an extended period of time. The article focuses on kidsickness when a child attends overnight camp, although I have witnessed and experienced kidsickness over a much shorter period of time (for instance, the first time we left my son in the church nursery - I really wanted to skip service and hide outside of the nursery, spying on his every move and interaction with the nursery staff).

The article attributes an increasing rise in kidsickness to several things: a more involved style of parenting ("helicopter" parenting, we'll get to this term in a moment), a parents ability to be in constant contact with their child(ren) through technology, an increased perception that the world is a dangerous place, and an increase in the amount of working parents who are spending less time with their kids during a typical work week.

Additionally, the article briefly touches on two other terms relating to the increase in involved (maybe overly involved) parenting styles: "helicopter" parents and "parent-ectomy." Helicopter parents are parents who constantly hover over their children, ready to swoop in and monitor every choice their child(ren) makes. A parent-ectomy refers to the removal of parent involvement and contact over a period of time.

The idea is that something happens when a child is removed from his/her parents over the course of a few days or a couple of weeks. In an appropriate and healthy setting such as summer camp, children are offered a rare opportunity to develop the independence, coping skills, social skills, and problem-solving skills that they might not learn with mom or dad right by their side. A helicopter parent might stifle a child's ability to "know thyself," producing an adult child that is inept in operating as an independent member of society. A parent-ectomy is a wonderful chance for children to flourish on their own and hone those skills that are often overlooked by a hyper and over-involved parent.

As I think about these issues, I realize the importance of experiencing kidsickness - embracing the feelings of separation anxiety, sadness, fear and nervousness, feelings associated with leaving our children with 'strangers', out of our control and out of our watchful eye. Kidsickness allows parents to trust not only their children but also the world around their children. Yes, our kids can get hurt and learn 'bad' habits when out of our care. Yes, without our grand influence they can make poor choices. But can't those same things happen when they are sitting right next to us? And how do we expect them to learn for themselves if we never allow them the space to learn independent of us?

And when we experience kidsickness, we begin to understand balanced parenting. It's okay to be sad when our kids go to camp, or a friend's house or their first day of school. It's okay to helicopter when they are facing a tough decision and need guidance, but it is in their best interest and our best interest if we fly away in time for them to make a decision on their own. That is how our children gain strength, confidence and independence. And when they experience a parent-ectomy, they can better understand life as an individual human being, and maybe one day they will appreciate that we loved them enough to let them go.

Too Much Information? Much Disappointment.

2008-08-08T21:01:00.011-04:00

The August 2008 issue of Parents magazine features an article titled "Too Much Information." Tamekia Reece, the author, offers parents strategies for helping their child(ren) to understand the concepts of privacy and disclosure.

Reece's article focuses on teaching children how to understand what is appropriate to share with others and what is not. For instance, how do we inform our children that it's okay to tell people what we ate for dinner last night, but we would rather that they not disclose daddy's time spent in the bathroom following that dinner? Unfortunately, Reece's article completely fails to recognize that teaching children the importance of privacy might come back to haunt them.

The terrible reality is that children are hurt everyday by a person whom they know and trust. According to Darkness to Light, an organization aimed at diminishing the incidence and impact of child sexual abuse, 1 in 4 girls is sexually abused before the age of 18, and 1 in 6 boys is sexually abused before the age of 18. AND ONLY 10% OF THE ABUSERS ARE STRANGERS. That means that 90% of those children are abused by someone whom they know! That is shocking.

Because of this disturbing information, Reece's article disappointed me greatly. For her article, she quotes several child-development professionals, suggesting that parents explain to their children that "private is something just for [the] family to know." The article even encourages parents to teach children the difference between good and bad secrets, explaining that it's okay to keep Grandma's birthday present a secret but it's wrong not to tell mom about a marker stain on the carpet.

What about when a family friend touches a child inappropriately and tells that child "it's our little secret?" How do we explain to our children that there are different kinds of secrets, those that only the family share, those shared amongst girlfriends on the playground, and then those relating to something as terrible as sexual abuse?

Jim Hopper, a Harvard psychologist, notes that "in the case of sexual abuse, secrecy and intense feelings of shame may prevent children from seeking help."

This is not a warm and fuzzy topic, but it is a necessary one for us to address. I have worked in several schools serving a range of students, and I have yet to work in a school where we did not have to contact child protective services to report a case of sexual abuse.

Reece's article offers a couple of fine strategies for helping our children to decipher when it's okay to blab and when we should just keep our mouth shut, but her suggestions merely add up to the common phrase "if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say it at all."

Unfortunately the article baffles me with statements such as "secrets help your child build self-control." Shame on Parents magazine! There is nothing positive about keeping secrets when it might mean that a child hides the truth about being harmed.

I suggest that we don't teach our children about secrets. I would avoid the word "secret" at all costs. Instead, let's focus on having a conversation with our children about 'good touch' versus 'bad touch' and what to do if someone, anyone, makes us feel uncomfortable. I would much rather that my 4-year-old humiliate me by saying something uncouth in front of a crowd than my 4-year-old fail to tell me the truth about a detrimental situation because he was instructed to never tell secrets.

If you are a parent, I urge you, don't fret about teaching your young ones about secret keeping. As your child matures and follows your positive example, he/she will eventually learn to use judgement in public. Instead, spend time teaching your children what they can do if anyone ever makes them feel uncomfortable. Let's make sure that our children are not afraid to seek help if they are in danger. Instead, maybe the perpetrators will be afraid to cause harm because they know that our young ones aren't afraid to tell the truth.

Take Action: Believe in a child today!

2008-08-07T17:16:00.008-04:00

So this afternoon I caught the Oprah show, and today's program left me FIRED UP! Her show highlighted the many failures of America's educational system. While many of our schools are outstanding and successful, we still have an educational crisis on our hands. This is a nationwide concern, and I have two requests of all of you.

First, I urge everyone to commit to believing in at least one child. Many young people drop out of high school because no one believes that they are any better than that, a high school dropout. One of the individuals on the Oprah show said that she might have stuck with school if only someone had expressed their belief in her. Please, I encourage you to not only tell a child that you care about them, but prove it.

Secondly, when you set expectations for a child, set them high. By no means am I asking you to set children up for failure, but DO NOT underestimate the potential of a child. Young people often give up on themselves because no one encourages them to do any better. When we encourage children to try harder and do better, they have a reason to do so (the operative word being "encourage"). But when we allow young people to learn in unhealthy and deteriorating environments, we communicate to them that they aren't any better than a crappy school and outdated textbooks.

Please, let's break the cycle of low expectations by not only believing in our young people, but believing that they really can be successful and positive members of society.

In the news: Kids and fast-food

2008-08-07T15:00:00.016-04:00

Recently the Center for Science in the Public Interest released a report that looked into the nutritional quality of kids' meals at thirteen major restaurant chains. They found that 93% of 1,474 possible choices at the thirteen chains exceed 430 calories (an amount that is one-third of what the National Institute of Medicine recommends that children ages 4-8 should consume in a day). This got me thinking...are people really looking to feed their children healthfully at fast-food restaurants, and if they are, then what exactly is the fast-food restaurants' responsibility concerning this issue?

Quite frankly, I don't have much sympathy for those individuals who are upset that fast-food restaurants do not offer more healthy food choices. There was a time when a family could not drive-through for dinner, and if you planned on eating on-the-road, you had to pull out the cooler and fill it with sandwiches and fruit. Really, is it that hard to plan ahead? I understand that fast-food is usually the cheapest way to go when we are in a hurry, but if we find ourselves in that predicament every night, then we have a greater problem. If we are only running through for dinner on occasion, then a 450-calorie meal isn't going to catapult our child into obesity.

As for the fast-food restaurants . . . I argue that they are getting better. By no means are fast-food chains healthy choices, but they seem to be offering more options like fruit cups and yogurt. The report found Subway to offer the healthiest choices for a child, and that is no surprise. Subway brings a much healthier image to my mind than Burger King or McDonalds. I would expect Subway to offer the same healthy choices to kids as they offer to adults.

Overall, the report does not alarm me. It notes that eating out now accounts for a third of children's daily caloric intake, and the Center's nutrition policy director states that "America's chain restaurants are setting parents up to fail." I disagree. If a parent is failing to serve his/her child healthy meals, the only one to blame is the parent.