The Stranger

I received this email as a forward. I have no idea where it originated.

A few years after I was born, my dad met a stranger who was new to our small town. From the beginning, Dad was fascinated with this enchanting newcomer and soon invited him to live with our family. The stranger was quickly accepted and was around from then on.
As I grew up, I never questioned his place in my family. In my young mind, he had a special niche. My parents were complementary instructors: Mom taught me good from evil, and Dad taught me to obey. But the stranger ... he was our storyteller. He would keep us spellbound for hours on end with adventures, mysteries, and comedies. If I wanted to know anything about politics, history or science, he always knew the answers about the past, understood the present and even seemed able to predict the future!
He took my family to the football and cricket games. He made me laugh, and he made me cry. The stranger never stopped talking, but Dad didn't seem to mind.

Sometimes, Mom would get up quietly while the rest of us were shushing each other to listen to what he had to say, and she would go to the kitchen for peace and quiet. (I wonder now if she ever prayed for the stranger to leave.)
Dad ruled our household with certain moral convictions, but the stranger never felt obligated to honor them. Profanity, for example, was not allowed in our home ... not from us, our friends or any visitors. Our longtime visitor, however, got away with four-letter words that burned my ears and made my dad squirm and my mother blush.
My dad didn't permit the liberal use of alcohol. But the stranger encouraged us to try it on a regular basis. He made cigarettes look cool, cigars manly, and pipes distinguished. He talked freely (much too freely) about sex. His comments were sometimes blatant, sometimes suggestive, and generally embarrassing.
I now know that my early concepts about relationships were influenced strongly by the stranger. Time after time, he opposed the values of my parents, yet he was seldom rebuked ... And NEVER asked to leave.
More than fifty years have passed since the stranger moved in with our family. He has blended right in and is not nearly as fascinating as he was at first. If you could walk into my parents' den today, you would still find him sitting over in his corner, waiting for someone to listen to him talk and watch him draw his pictures.
His name?
We just call him 'TV.'
*Note: He has a wife now ... We call her 'Computer'.

With my recent posts on technology, I thought this story was a perfect illustration!

Don't believe everything you hear as Halloween draws near.

October 31st is approaching which means it is almost time for us to send our children out collecting treats only to make them dump everything onto the living room floor so that we can sort through it all. Throw out any candy that appears partially opened, and most certainly dispose of anything that has been repackaged or hand-baked! Oh, and take test bites of each individual candy in case someone buried a razor blade in one of them. 

Every year, I receive Watch-Out! emails from friends and family that basically say the same thing - bad people want to poison and hurt your children so don't let them eat any candy that resembles x,y, or z. 

Sure enough, I received my first Watch-Out! email this morning.

This particular email claimed that the local sheriff's office is urging parents to be suspect of a drug called Strawberry Quick. The "alert" was printed on professional letterhead, and it contained information about a form of crystal meth that looks and smells like strawberry candy. There was even a link to a Fox News article that covered the dangers of this drug. 

I am always suspect of these emails, and thanks to a colleague of mine, I have discovered Snopes.com. Let me make one thing clear: Snopes.com is not the absolute when it comes to uncovering the truth about suspicious information and rumor. Snopes.com simply investigates seemingly harmless rumors and attempts to set the record straight.

In the case of Straweberry Quick, Snopes validates that some drug dealers sell crystal meth that is colored and coincidentally resembles Pop Rocks, but Snopes argues that this drug is not flavored in order to market the drug to children. Snopes backs up this information by uncovering the layers of updates and email examples that have been floating around in cyberspace attempting to freak out parents everywhere.

Let me be clear, there is always the possibility that some bad man could candy-coat crystal meth and drop it in your child's trick-or-treat bucket. But the reality is that there are more "bad" people who instigate a seemingly harmless email chain of false information than there are "bad" people who are really going to seriously harm your child. Some immature and computer savvy teenager probably thinks it's funny to send out a spooky email in order to ruffle a few feathers. 

Again Snopes.com is not the end-all-be-all. But it is a good place to start when you are wondering if maybe someone is trying to get a rise out of the public during an already eerie time of year.

Protecting our children from cyberbullying

When I worked as a School Counselor, I regularly delivered a lesson to students and staff regarding the newest culprit endangering our young people: cyberbullying. Cyberbullying is when a child is negatively targeted by another child using technology. It can come in the form of harassment, threats, or humiliation through electronic mediums including text messaging, social networking sites, or email.

Recently, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention featured information on this growing issue. The feature refers to electronic aggression, a broader term encompassing all types of violence that occurs electronically (electronic aggression is only bullying when the act is repeated).

As the CDC points out, the use of technology has many benefits for young people. I have worked with many children who were normally shy and reserved, but they made social connections via MySpace. Unfortunately, I have also worked with many young people who were devastated and depressed because something embarrassing was posted about them on MySpace.

Many people who know me know that I have never had a MySpace or Facebook account. I have had to put out way too many fires related to the social networking sites, and I just cannot bring myself to join. By no means are the sites the problem. In fact, I often peruse my sister's site to read updates posted by mutual friends. And I carry a cell phone even though I encountered many situations when a child harassed another child over the phone or via text message.

In fact, cyberbullying is just another example of why we need to be all-up-in our child's business. Technology has allowed our children access to individuals all around the world, but what's frightening is that individuals all around the world now have access to our children.

Fortunately it is not hard to monitor a child's electronic communication. I suggest making if very clear to your child(ren) that they should not use technology if it means that they are doing something that they would not do in your presence. If my child had a MySpace or Facebook account, you better believe that I would be checking his/her page regularly. And quite frankly, up to a certain age, there is absolutely no need for a child to have text messaging privileges on a cell phone. 

But more importantly, we simply need to make our presence known in a child's life. I cringe when I hear about children who have a computer in their bedroom. What is the point of that? The computer should be located so that the parent is able to pop in and see what the child is doing at any given time. That is a teacher's greatest classroom management skill - his/her presence.

And by being present in their lives, we offer our children the structure, support and protection that they need to have healthy and successful childhoods.