Learning from dad

I am constantly having conversations with moms who feel guilty. Guilty that they didn't spend enough time with one of their children. Guilty that they didn't get the laundry and cooking and cleaning done that day. It truly amazes me that moms constantly judge themselves when, let's face it, moms are accomplishing a crazy amount more than anyone gives them credit for.

But how often do you hear a dad express these same feelings of guilt? Not often. Men are definitely wired differently than women, and there might be a few things that women can learn from them regarding this cloud of guilt. Parents.com offered these three suggestions:

• Dads don't try to do it all. Men don't attempt to work full-time, be the primary caregiver to the kids, cook dinner, maintain the home, socialize with their friends and make time for their spouse. They just don't carry those expectations for themselves, plain and simple.
• Dads don't feel guilty when they take time for themselves. Men seem to constantly be looking for ways to squeeze in a round of golf or a poker night with their buddies. And when these opportunities arise, they don't think twice about having some me-time.
• Dads don't blame themselves for everything. When his little one hits another kid at playgroup, dad doesn't analyze his parenting and blame himself for this otherwise normal childhood occurrence. 

So how can us moms be more like the dads? Well, try not to check EVERYTHING off your list everyday. Sure, it's important to get things accomplished, but what's the big deal if you leave one or two things unchecked? And indulge in me-time when you have time (and if you don't have time, make time!). The more refreshed you are, the better off you are as a mom. And finally, embrace what are normal childhood situations. Just accept the fact that your child is going to do something embarrassing and outlandish; it's just a fact of life and not a result of your parenting skills.

Don't get me wrong, I do it too. I read a friend's blog or listen to a friend's story, and I think to myself, "ugh - how is she doing it all?" But just when I think I'm less than superior, I check in with my fatherhood-is-treating-me-well-husband and he reminds me that he hasn't picked up a broom in months and that round of golf he played on Saturday felt great. And when I ask him if he feels the slightest bit of guilt when our son has a 45-minute meltdown before bedtime, he gives me this quizzical look and asks, "why would I feel guilty?"

Parental control

So what do you think of this idea: Device will help parents limit teen drivers?

Apparently, Ford Motor Co. is rolling out a new feature called "MyKey" on many of its 2010 models. MyKey, a programmable computer chip in the car's key, is designed for parents who want to limit their teen drivers to 80 mph. Additionally, the computer chip allows the parent to limit the system's volume and to enable a function that sounds continuous alerts if the driver doesn't wear a seat belt.

Ford's director of electronic and electrical systems engineering put it this way, "Our message to parents is, hey, we are providing you some conditions to give your new drivers that may allow you to feel a little more comfortable in giving them the car more often."

According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, "more than 5,000 U.S. teens die each year in car crashes. The rate of crashes, fatal and nonfatal, per mile driven for 16-year-old drivers is almost 10 times the rate for drivers ages 30 to 59."

I like this "MyKey" idea. I would like it even more if it somehow disrupted the teen driver's cell phone signal so that he/she could not talk or text while driving. And so that I could still talk to my son even with his cell phone disengaged, allow the parent hands-free audio access into the vehicle so that I could still get ahold of my child to tell him things like, "don't forget, curfew's 11:00pm," or "if you stop by that party then you can kiss Homecoming goodbye." Not to worry, I have fifteen years before my child(ren) will be driving so there is plenty of time for the invention of these nifty enhancements. In the meantime, I am going to pray that I do not become that crazy, overbearing, always-nagging, helicopter parent that I so loathe.

SIDS update

This month the Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine published a study suggesting that using a fan while a baby is sleeping appears to significantly cut the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, or SIDS. 

According to the study, fan use during sleep was associated with a 72% reduction in SIDS risk. The reduction in SIDS risk seemed more pronounced in adverse sleep environments. For example, fan use in warmer room temperatures was associated with a greater reduction in SIDS risk compared with cooler room temperatures. The study concluded that fan use may be an effective intervention for further decreasing SIDS risk in infants in adverse sleep environments.

According to the study's lead researcher, Dr. De-Kun Li,  fan use increases air movement in a baby's bedroom that could protect babies from re-breathing carbon dioxide. "If parents want to take an extra measure, they should consider using a fan," he said. But he stressed that using a fan isn't a substitute for placing babies on their backs to sleep.

The frightening thing about SIDS is that there is no known cause, only known risk factors.

The risk factors include: 

• Tummy or side sleeping
• Soft sleep surfaces 
• Loose bedding
• Overheating
• Smoking (both mothers who smoke during pregnancy and exposure to second-hand smoke)
• Bed sharing
• Preterm and low birth weight infants

I commend researchers and advocates for working so diligently to better understand this syndrome which is the leading cause of death in children under one year old. Thanks to their efforts, the SIDS incidence has decreased drastically from 1980, when out of 1000 live births, 1.5 babies died, to now, out of 1000 live births, only 0.5 die from SIDS. That is a tremendous and successful effort for which I am truly grateful.

Child Health Day

Today is the 80th annual Child Health Day, a health awareness day initiated by the Health Resources & Services Administration, an agency of the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services. Child Health Day's tagline is Eat Healthy & Be Active for a Healthy Future. 

As part of the initiative, the surgeon general asks everyone to take this pledge because "a healthy future is our gift to our children":

I pledge to:

Be a role model by making healthy choices for myself.
Help children be physically active through everyday play and participation in sports.
Support children's healthy eating habits.

The initiative cites that 1 in 6 U.S. children between 2 and 19 is overweight (that is roughly 12.5 million children or 17 percent). Overweight children are at greater risk for many serious health problems including asthma, diabetes, and heart disease. 

The Child Health Day website is packed with resources, information, and relevant links. I am especially fond of the site's resources pertaining to community involvement. Too many times people turn a blind eye to issues related to children because they do not have children of their own (I have heard, all too often, individuals in my community say, "I'm not voting in favor of that school levy because I don't have any children"). But I believe that we should all be invested in the next generation regardless.

Here are a few of my favorite community involvement suggestions:

• Increase the "Walkability" of your community. I live in a community full of bike paths, parks, and green space (roughly one acre of park space for every 40 residents). In addition to backyards and sidewalks, there is a bounty of run-around space.
• Increase the number of places people can get healthy food they can afford. I love this idea but I know how difficult it is. Fast-food is convenient and cheap, but it often lacks nutrition. One idea is to host a farmer's market in your community. I think every community should have a farmer's market. My community does not offer a farmer's market, and I think that is ridiculously unbalanced considering my community is resourceful, loaded with "green space," and surrounded by farm land. But don't worry, I have contacted my city's community services department regarding my concern and disappointment.
  
• Build and keep up community recreation areas. My community has a beautiful recreation facility, and I am grateful to its investors for the development and maintenance of the facility. A rec facility is one of the best investments that a community can make as it offers a place for physical activity, recreation and community involvement AND it can be a source of income for the community if the facility has space for performances and workshops.

I encourage everyone to take a minute to consider the health and well-being of a child. You will be giving a gift not only to the next generation but to generations to come.

FDA for Kids

Yesterday I was putzing around the Food and Drug Administration's website when I found their Kids' Home Page. The kids' web page lacks upmh and appears dated, but it does offer some great information for children and adults.  

Allow me to highlight a few of my favorite links from the site:

• Food Safety Quiz - Questions about properly handling raw chicken, defrosting meat, and packing a lunch (the quiz only contains five questions - it could use more substance)
• Pet ownership information including Are You Ready to Own a Dog & Provide a Safe Home for Your Pet - Both resources are good starting points for a child who wants a pet, but I think both pages need to be beefed up a bit.
• FDA in the News - Offers brief statements about different FDA news stories relevant to children

Overall, the information provided on the kids site is informative, but the FDA might invite a considerable amount of additional traffic if they invested in making the site "cool." It could use better graphics and a more interactive layout. I believe that an FDA kids site is important because the FDA is a key player in our child's health and well-being. In the meantime, allow your child to check out the current site, and encourage him/her to send feedback to the FDA's webmaster about the website. Kids know what they want in a web page; let their voice be heard.

Cold meds: Still no answer.

The Food and Drug Administration is still not ready to ban cough and cold medicines for young children, according to a hearing on Thursday. Their biggest concern is that a ban on children's medication might result in parents giving adult medication to their children.

The head of the FDA's Office of New Drugs stated, "we do not want to do something that we think will have a positive impact, only to have an unintended negative. That could be an even worse situation." But many pediatricians are urging the FDA to take action as cold season is right around the corner.

The FDA did make a statement earlier this year warning against giving over-the-counter cold medicines to children younger than 2. Yet the agency is currently seeking more advice and research (particularly studies involving children) before making a finite decision on the children's medication. In general, the concern is not low doses of the medication but the risk from unintentional overdoses.

In the meantime, most doctors recommend rest and plenty of fluids to cure the common cold, even in children. 

Read for the Record

Today is Jumpstart's Read for the Record Day. The campaign is designed to "bring attention to the importance of early education." Jumpstart encourages children and adults to read the same book on the same day with a goal of making early education a priority while breaking a world record for the largest shared reading experience.

Today's Read for the Record book is Don Freeman's 1968 children's book, Corduroy. In addition to recruiting adults and children to read Corduroy, Jumpstart is also asking for donations in order to put books into the hands of at-risk preschool children.

Jumpstart works "toward the day every child in America enters school prepared to succeed." Jumpstart believes that every child has the potential to succeed academically, and with the involvement of a caring adult, children can reach their potential. Jumpstart brings together at-risk preschoolers and caring adults to build literacy skills.

Take a moment to read with a child today, and log your participation at Jumpstart's Read for the Record website.