College email is so last year?

A friend sent me this article about a prestigious college's decision to forgo new email accounts.

What do you think?

"Officials at Boston College have made what may be a momentous decision: they've stopped doling out new email accounts to incoming students. The officials realized that the students already had established digital identities by the time they entered college, so the new email addresses were just not being utilized. The college will offer forwarding services instead. Starting next year, freshman enrolled at Boston College won't be given an actual email account complete with login and inbox, just an email address."

So, is this the start of a new trend? I think so. There are a few concerns, but in time, I think this is the way colleges and universities will go. It does make me think about a young man who I knew through a previous job. He had an email address that consisted of a gang name. Let's hope that students like him find a more appropriate email address to use when they start their college career!

Sexting - have you heard of it?

I read this commentary on Teen Checkup, and I thought, "thank goodness my child is still a baby." Really, God help me when it's time for me to make decisions such as whether or not my child will be allowed a cell phone. It's not boding well for him.

According to the commentator, young people, especially those in middle school, are engaging in a behavior called "sexting." Sexting occurs when kids (or anyone, for that matter) take naked pictures of themselves and then send the picture to others (who then forward the picture to an unimaginable number of people). Did your mouth just drop to the floor? Because mine did the first time I read this.

And I like to think that I am not naive. In fact, I have received naked pictures through spam or immature friends via text message. But never did it occur to me that young people would take pictures of their own body to be flashed across the digital world - for what, fun?

As if the natural consequences of this behavior are not enough, sexting is actually child pornography. Under federal law, child pornography is a criminal act, and is defined as a visual depiction of any kind, including a drawing, cartoon, sculpture, painting, photograph, film, video, or computer-generated image or picture, where it depicts a minor engaging in sexually explicit conduct and is obscene. 

For instance, a 15-year-old Ohio girl is facing felony charges and may have to register as a sex offender after allegedly sending naked pictures of herself from her cell phone. What might have seemed like a funny game is actually a criminal offense.

The commentator concludes, "some people may argue that sexting is harmless and, perhaps, a form of safe sex. I would agree if 18-year-olds were doing it."

Excuse me, but even as an adult, I do not find sexting harmless. I find it disgusting, offensive, and troubling. And if any man text me a picture of himself in the buff, you better believe I would file a harassment charge.

If you have a teenager who has a cell phone, please talk with them. It is the parent's job to know what information and communication children are receiving from all media and digital outlets.

There are many benefits to allowing your child to have a cell phone (sorry, I don't discuss many of them here), but that doesn't mean your child should be allowed phone privileges carte blanche. 

Let me know your thoughts on sexting and how you intend on working with your teen to prevent them from ever being involved in such behaviors.

The Stranger

I received this email as a forward. I have no idea where it originated.

A few years after I was born, my dad met a stranger who was new to our small town. From the beginning, Dad was fascinated with this enchanting newcomer and soon invited him to live with our family. The stranger was quickly accepted and was around from then on.
As I grew up, I never questioned his place in my family. In my young mind, he had a special niche. My parents were complementary instructors: Mom taught me good from evil, and Dad taught me to obey. But the stranger ... he was our storyteller. He would keep us spellbound for hours on end with adventures, mysteries, and comedies. If I wanted to know anything about politics, history or science, he always knew the answers about the past, understood the present and even seemed able to predict the future!
He took my family to the football and cricket games. He made me laugh, and he made me cry. The stranger never stopped talking, but Dad didn't seem to mind.

Sometimes, Mom would get up quietly while the rest of us were shushing each other to listen to what he had to say, and she would go to the kitchen for peace and quiet. (I wonder now if she ever prayed for the stranger to leave.)
Dad ruled our household with certain moral convictions, but the stranger never felt obligated to honor them. Profanity, for example, was not allowed in our home ... not from us, our friends or any visitors. Our longtime visitor, however, got away with four-letter words that burned my ears and made my dad squirm and my mother blush.
My dad didn't permit the liberal use of alcohol. But the stranger encouraged us to try it on a regular basis. He made cigarettes look cool, cigars manly, and pipes distinguished. He talked freely (much too freely) about sex. His comments were sometimes blatant, sometimes suggestive, and generally embarrassing.
I now know that my early concepts about relationships were influenced strongly by the stranger. Time after time, he opposed the values of my parents, yet he was seldom rebuked ... And NEVER asked to leave.
More than fifty years have passed since the stranger moved in with our family. He has blended right in and is not nearly as fascinating as he was at first. If you could walk into my parents' den today, you would still find him sitting over in his corner, waiting for someone to listen to him talk and watch him draw his pictures.
His name?
We just call him 'TV.'
*Note: He has a wife now ... We call her 'Computer'.

With my recent posts on technology, I thought this story was a perfect illustration!

TV, Teens, & Sex

According to a recent study published in Pediatrics, the official journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics, teenagers’ exposure to sexual content on TV is linked to teen pregnancies. The study found that teens exposed to high levels of sexual content on television were twice as likely to be involved in a pregnancy in the following three years as teens with limited exposure.

The study's lead author cautioned that exposure to TV is not the only factor relating to teen pregnancies. She stated, “we don’t think that [TV] is necessarily more significant than some of the family and neighborhood factors that can lead to teen pregnancies. But even when we removed all the other factors, we still saw a compelling link between a high exposure to sexual content on television and teen pregnancies.”

Additionally, the study's abstract states: 

This is the first study to demonstrate a prospective link between exposure to sexual content on television and the experience of a pregnancy before the age of 20. Limiting adolescent exposure to the sexual content on television and balancing portrayals of sex in the media with information about possible negative consequences might reduce the risk of teen pregnancy. Parents may be able to mitigate the influence of this sexual content by viewing with their children and discussing these depictions of sex.

It seems that I continue to be made aware of research challenging my decision to let my son watch TV. As for now, I limit his TV exposure as best I can, and as he matures, I intend on having some very honest conversations with him about what he sees on TV, on the computer, in magazines, and anywhere else that the media is present. I believe that is ultimately the best that we can do as parents - talk to our kids. It is impossible to protect them from everything, but it is very possible to talk to them about anything.

Background TV not good for kids

In my seven months of motherhood, I have spent a lot of time thinking about whether or not I will allow my son to watch TV (movies and videos included), and if so, what limitations will I put on this privilege. Well the time has come for me to get serious about this decision. Just this morning I had my son in my arms, and as he fussed, I switched the TV from the Today show to the Disney Channel. I kid you not, my son was so enthralled in Handy Mandy that within minutes, he had fallen asleep. 

I was somewhat shocked by the effects of one program, but more than shocked, I was feeling guilty. I had used TV to put my child to sleep. And he's only a baby! And though I hate to admit it, this wasn't the first time that I have turned to the TV to entertain my son. 

Because I realize how easy it is to use the TV as a babysitter, child-calmer, and baby-soother, I decided to start thinking seriously about the issue and making some decisions. I imagine that I will allow him to watch some TV, but how much, I am still not sure. I am finding that it is not simply about what he watches. It's equally important that I consider what I am watching when he is present. Not only because of the PG-13 rated content of many shows and commercials, and the link to childhood obesity, but also because of the exposure to constant background noise.

According to a recent study, leaving the TV set on disrupts young children while they are playing and may be detrimental to a child's development. The study found that background TV disrupts the toy play of young children, even when they paid little attention to it; "when the television was on, the children played for significantly shorter periods of time and the time they spent focused on their play was shorter, compared to when the TV was off." According to the study's lead author, "Background TV is potentially a chronic environmental risk factor affecting most American children. Parents should limit their young children's exposure to background television."

Hhm. This complicates things. I not only need to consider limitations to my son's TV exposure but also for mine. And my husband's. Fortunately we only have one TV (and we plan on keeping it that way), but our house is small, and when the TV is on, it nearly fills the entire house with background noise. And I can't help but wonder if the constant background noise is a factor in the attention deficit disorders suffered by so many of our youth.

This recent study leaves me with more to think about as I decide what is best for my son. But more importantly, it leaves me with a challenge. Am I willing to sacrifice my own entertainment for the health and well-being of my son? I hope so (though easier said than done, I am sure).

Don't believe everything you hear as Halloween draws near.

October 31st is approaching which means it is almost time for us to send our children out collecting treats only to make them dump everything onto the living room floor so that we can sort through it all. Throw out any candy that appears partially opened, and most certainly dispose of anything that has been repackaged or hand-baked! Oh, and take test bites of each individual candy in case someone buried a razor blade in one of them. 

Every year, I receive Watch-Out! emails from friends and family that basically say the same thing - bad people want to poison and hurt your children so don't let them eat any candy that resembles x,y, or z. 

Sure enough, I received my first Watch-Out! email this morning.

This particular email claimed that the local sheriff's office is urging parents to be suspect of a drug called Strawberry Quick. The "alert" was printed on professional letterhead, and it contained information about a form of crystal meth that looks and smells like strawberry candy. There was even a link to a Fox News article that covered the dangers of this drug. 

I am always suspect of these emails, and thanks to a colleague of mine, I have discovered Snopes.com. Let me make one thing clear: Snopes.com is not the absolute when it comes to uncovering the truth about suspicious information and rumor. Snopes.com simply investigates seemingly harmless rumors and attempts to set the record straight.

In the case of Straweberry Quick, Snopes validates that some drug dealers sell crystal meth that is colored and coincidentally resembles Pop Rocks, but Snopes argues that this drug is not flavored in order to market the drug to children. Snopes backs up this information by uncovering the layers of updates and email examples that have been floating around in cyberspace attempting to freak out parents everywhere.

Let me be clear, there is always the possibility that some bad man could candy-coat crystal meth and drop it in your child's trick-or-treat bucket. But the reality is that there are more "bad" people who instigate a seemingly harmless email chain of false information than there are "bad" people who are really going to seriously harm your child. Some immature and computer savvy teenager probably thinks it's funny to send out a spooky email in order to ruffle a few feathers. 

Again Snopes.com is not the end-all-be-all. But it is a good place to start when you are wondering if maybe someone is trying to get a rise out of the public during an already eerie time of year.

Mighty Mommy

Whenever I have a grammar question, the first website that I turn to is always Grammar Girl. Hosted by Mignon Fogarty, Grammar Girl tackles grammar and writing in a way that is accurate, witty and funny. Her grammar tips are "quick and dirty," and her claim-to-fame is her "Quick and Dirty Tips" podcasts. 

In addition to grammar galore, her site features quick and dirty parenting tips from The Mighty Mommy. Each week, host CJ Feierabend shares her practical parenting advice in short podcasts. Feierabend offers tips from diapering to taking family photos. In addition to downloading the podcasts, one can read the entire episode transcripts online. 

Mighty Mommy is a great resource for moms-on-the-go who could use parenting advice (can't we all?) but don't spend a lot of time reading online. Simply download the podcasts and listen to them when you are squeezing in a morning jog or driving across town to pick up the kids.

Protecting our children from cyberbullying

When I worked as a School Counselor, I regularly delivered a lesson to students and staff regarding the newest culprit endangering our young people: cyberbullying. Cyberbullying is when a child is negatively targeted by another child using technology. It can come in the form of harassment, threats, or humiliation through electronic mediums including text messaging, social networking sites, or email.

Recently, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention featured information on this growing issue. The feature refers to electronic aggression, a broader term encompassing all types of violence that occurs electronically (electronic aggression is only bullying when the act is repeated).

As the CDC points out, the use of technology has many benefits for young people. I have worked with many children who were normally shy and reserved, but they made social connections via MySpace. Unfortunately, I have also worked with many young people who were devastated and depressed because something embarrassing was posted about them on MySpace.

Many people who know me know that I have never had a MySpace or Facebook account. I have had to put out way too many fires related to the social networking sites, and I just cannot bring myself to join. By no means are the sites the problem. In fact, I often peruse my sister's site to read updates posted by mutual friends. And I carry a cell phone even though I encountered many situations when a child harassed another child over the phone or via text message.

In fact, cyberbullying is just another example of why we need to be all-up-in our child's business. Technology has allowed our children access to individuals all around the world, but what's frightening is that individuals all around the world now have access to our children.

Fortunately it is not hard to monitor a child's electronic communication. I suggest making if very clear to your child(ren) that they should not use technology if it means that they are doing something that they would not do in your presence. If my child had a MySpace or Facebook account, you better believe that I would be checking his/her page regularly. And quite frankly, up to a certain age, there is absolutely no need for a child to have text messaging privileges on a cell phone. 

But more importantly, we simply need to make our presence known in a child's life. I cringe when I hear about children who have a computer in their bedroom. What is the point of that? The computer should be located so that the parent is able to pop in and see what the child is doing at any given time. That is a teacher's greatest classroom management skill - his/her presence.

And by being present in their lives, we offer our children the structure, support and protection that they need to have healthy and successful childhoods.